


A Million Things We Could've Been

by redwheelbarrow



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: Alternate Universe, Cannon, Drabble Collection, Established Relationship, Future Fic, Getting Back Together, M/M, One Shot Collection
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-27
Updated: 2020-05-21
Packaged: 2021-03-01 16:55:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 23,631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23880421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redwheelbarrow/pseuds/redwheelbarrow
Summary: A collection of unrelated Schmico one-shots. Some will be cannon, some will be AU. All will feature our two favorite boys.
Relationships: Nico Kim/Levi Schmitt
Comments: 31
Kudos: 221





	1. Lawyer!Nico/Intern!Levi

Levi does not feel good. 

It’s understandable and not entirely unexpected. These days he runs on very little sleep, lunches from the vending machine, and near zero empathy from any of his coworkers. 

Today is a particularly bad day to not feel good because today Levi is on Jo Karev’s service. He’s not sure what he did in a past life to evoke Dr. Karev’s wrath, but it must’ve been pretty bad. It’s not even a subtle hatred like the one Dr. Bailey seems to have for Roy. She at least waits for Roy to screw up before verbally eviscerating him in front of the entire hospital. Jo is happy to lay into Levi before he’s even said anything.

“Would it kill you to iron your scrubs?” Dr. Karev asks as soon as Levi walks up to her. 

Case in point.

“I’m sorry,” Levi says, and he pulls on his top to try and straighten it out. “I got some blood on me in the pit this morning, so I had to grab a new pair from –”

“I didn’t ask why they are the way they are, Schmitt. Just fix it next time.”

She turns and starts walking away without waiting for him to respond. Levi takes a deep breath to stead himself, and hopefully steady his stomach, before following her.

“We’re doing afternoon rounds in fifteen minutes, so I need you to read over everyone’s charts and be ready to present,” Jo practically shoves a tablet into his sternum. “Try not to be so awkward this time. It makes the patients nervous.”

Levi wants to say the way she reacts to his “awkwardness” is what makes the patients nervous, but that would only make things worse. 

“Right. Less awkward. Got it.”

“Great,” Jo says in a tone that implies it’s anything but great. “if you get a second, go clean up in the bathroom or something. You look like you’re about to pass out.”

Jo wanders off to do who knows what, and Levi leans against the nearest nurses’ station to look over her charts. Fifteen minutes passes pretty quickly, and it really isn’t enough time to be completely familiar with ten charts, but Levi guesses he can make do. 

He’s trying to come up with some kind of pneumonic device to memorize the labs for the third patient when the dull pain in his stomach seems to increase tenfold. 

There’s really no time for him to run to the nearest bathroom, and next thing he knows he’s bent over on the hospital floor puking endlessly. 

Well, not endlessly, he does have a split second where he hears Dr. Karev return.

“Are you kidding me, Schmitt?”

He throws up again.

= = =

He feels pretty bad about causing such a disruption, but not bad enough to refuse the nurse’s offer to help him to a patient room. He settles down on the bed and closes his eyes. He’s not sure how long he’s undisturbed, but he’s awoken by Dr. Karev coming into the room.

“Schmitt,” she says. She’s standing at the foot of his bed looking entirely unimpressed.

“I’m sorry,” Levi says weakly. 

“If you’re sick, you have to tell someone. Especially your attending. Working through food poisoning or the flu doesn’t impress me. It makes me think you’re reckless with your health and the health of our patients. They won’t be thankful for your dedication to the job when you give them a stomach bug.”

Levi is still in a lot of pain, so he only grasps the gist of what Jo is telling him. He tries to give a rebuttal anyway.

“It was just a little bit of stomach pain this morning,” he says. “The puke really came out of nowhere. I thought it was just indigestion or something.”

“If you can’t even diagnose yourself with the stomach flu, how can I expect you to diagnose patients with things that are way less obvious?” Jo asks.

“I don’t think it’s a stomach flu,” Levi mumbles. “I’ve got pain on the right side of my abdomen. I think that’s what made me vomit.”

“So, you’re just giving yourself abdominal exams now?”

He’s not sure what he has to do to get any sort of human response from Dr. Karev but lying sick in a hospital bed doesn’t seem to do the trick.

“Can you get a nurse? I think I might throw up again,” he lies. He knows it’ll get Jo out of the room though. She’s never going to voluntarily hold a puke bucket for Levi.

“Yeah I’m out of here,” Jo says, but she does send in the nurse, so that’s something. 

“How are you feeling, Dr. Schmitt?” Candace asks. She comes in to stand by the bed, puke bucket in hand. Candace is probably Levi’s favorite nurse. She has the calming presence of a mother-figure, and she’s always been nice to him.

“I’m not actually about to puke,” Levi admits. “I just wanted to get Dr. Karev out of here.”

“I don’t blame you,” Candace mutters conspiratorially. “I’ve watched her interact with you from the nurse’s station. It’s like she’s trying to rile you up.”

“I don’t know why,” Levi sighs. “I thought maybe all of the attendings picked one intern to pick on, but it seems like it’s just her.” 

“Just keep trying your best,” Candace says. “She’ll come around eventually.”

“Maybe,” Levi says. He feels the pain coming on again. “I might actually need the bucket now.”

Candace gets it in place right before the vomiting picks up again.

= = =

Candace, an actual angel on Earth, takes time between Levi’s bouts of sickness to page Dr. Bailey. 

“Schmitt,” Dr. Bailey greets when she walks into his room. “When one of my surgical interns is sick enough to be in one of my hospital beds, I like to be informed.”

“I’m sorry,” Levi groans. He’s been doing nothing but sleeping and puking for half an hour, and he’s still messing up. “I’ll page you next time. I swear.”

“You better,” Dr. Bailey says, but it sounds more amused than anything. “So, what’s the problem?”

“Stomach pain,” Levi says, and he gasps as another round of it swells up in his abdomen. “Lower right quadrant. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve thrown up, but I think it’s from the pain.”

“How long have you been like this?” Dr. Bailey asks. She starts to palpitate his abdomen gently.

“About half an – oh my God!” 

“You’ve been lying here waiting on your appendix to burst for half an hour? Are you crazy?”

“Dr. Karev thought it was the stomach flu,” Levi offers. “I didn’t know what I was supposed to do.”

“Dr. Karev obviously didn’t bother to evaluate you properly,” Dr. Bailey says. “We’ll get a CT to confirm, but I think I’ll be seeing you in the OR shortly.”

“Oh! Can Taryn scrub in?” Levi asks. He’s getting a little woozy from the pain. “She’s been waiting to do an appy since we got here.”

“Sure, Schmitt,” Dr. Bailey says. He’s not sure if she’s serious or if she’s just appeasing him. “I’m going to get you on a morphine drip. Is there anyone I need to call for you?”

“Um, yeah, actually…”

= = =

Taryn gets to take Levi down to CT, and the appendicitis is confirmed. The morphine has Levi feeling fantastic, and he’s a little giddy that Dr. Bailey is going to perform his surgery. 

“Thank you so much,” Levi says again as they wheel him toward the OR. “Really, Dr. Bailey, it’s an honor to have the Chief of Surgery operate on me.”

Taryn is laughing, but Levi can’t really figure out why.

“You’re welcome, Schmitt. Now you enjoy your nap. I think you’re going to be pleasantly surprised when you wake up.”

= = =

Levi comes back into consciousness slowly, and he’s a little confused by his surroundings when he finally comes to. 

He’s in a hospital bed as opposed to standing next to one, so that’s different. He’s pretty sure he’s still at Grey Sloan though. 

“Hey,” a voice comes from beside the bed, and someone is gently grasping his arm.

Levi turns to see, but he already knows who it is. He couldn’t imagine not being able to tell automatically. Sure enough, it’s Nico. He’s kind of unfairly attractive even when he’s obviously been sitting in a chair by a hospital bed for hours. He’s still wearing the suit he was wearing this morning when he kissed Levi goodbye. It’s a familiar sight. Nico is always wearing suits like the good little lawyer he is.

“Hi,” Levi whispers. “I’m still asleep. You can’t be here.”

“You had surgery,” Nico laughs. “Where else would I be?”

“At work,” Levi groans, and he’s still feeling some discomfort even without the rupturing appendix. 

“Yeah they let me leave when I said you were at the hospital.”

“’M always at the hospital,” Levi slurs. He can feel his eyes slipping shut again. 

“Yeah, well, I explained you were here as a patient this time. They didn’t even make me take vacation. Perks of being a Junior Partner.”

“You shouldn’t be here,” Levi insists, but Nico’s gentle laughter shows how unconvincing he is. “You should be enjoying the first day of your promotion.”

“You’re crazy if you think I want to be anywhere but right here.”

Nico’s hand has wandered down to hold onto Levi’s. Levi can feel a cool spot where the metal of Nico’s wedding ring presses against his fingers. It’s a simple observation, but Levi isn’t really in his best state of mind. He feels his eyes get teary without his permission.

“Hey, don’t do that,” Nico says gently. “You’re fine. You’re going to be fine.”

Nico reaches up with the hand that isn’t intertwined with Levi’s and pushes back Levi’s hair. 

“I love you a lot,” Levi says. 

“I love you a lot, too,” Nico smiles. “I’m glad you’re okay. I was shitting myself for a second there.”

“I would shit myself if I got a call from Dr. Bailey, too,” Levi says. He feels a little less like crying now, which is an improvement. 

“Go back to sleep,” Nico says. It’s an enticing offer, and Levi takes it.

= = =

“He woke up about an hour ago and asked for more morphine. He he’s been asleep ever since.”

Levi hears Nico, but he can’t seem to find him. He thinks his eyes might be closed even though he’s trying his best to open them. It’s weird to hear he asked for morphine an hour ago. He doesn’t remember that at all.

“Right. Well I was just walking by and thought I’d let you know that visiting hours are over in ten minutes. After that we only allow family in the room, so you might want to call his mom.”

Levi is pretty sure that was Dr. Karev, which is less than ideal. He really needs to open his eyes.

“We’re married,” he hears Nico say. “That means I can stay, right?”

“You’re married,” Dr. Karev sounds unconvinced. There’s a pause. “To Schmitt.”

“Yes,” Nico has that defensive edge to his voice he always gets when he thinks someone is making fun of Levi. “Is that a problem? Gay marriage is legal in all fifty states. I can pull up the statute for you if needed. I can get a copy of our marriage license. Or, you know, you could pull his chart and see I’m his emergency contact. Nico Kim.”

Levi finally gets control of his eyes and mouth. 

“He’s m’ huzban,” he says. Well, at least he mostly has control of his mouth. 

Nico’s attention is diverted immediately, which is good because Levi can’t be sure if he was going to stop his rant any time soon.

“How are you feeling?” 

“Good,” Levi smiles. “Drugged.”

“Yeah,” Nico says sweetly. “You sound pretty drugged.”

“You’ve gotta be nice to Dr. Jo,” Levi says urgently. He tries to say it as serious as possible, but he’s failed going by Nico’s smile. 

“I’ll be nice to her if she’s nice to me.”

Levi knows Dr. Karev is still in the room, but he can’t get himself to shut up.

“She already hates me,” Levi groans. “Don’t give her more, um, like, reasons.”

“I don’t hate you, Schmitt,” Dr. Karev chimes in from her place by the door. 

“You do though,” Levi says easily. “’S okay. I’m clumsy and awkward and I dropped my glasses in a patient.”

“You what?”

Levi ignores Nico and keeps his eyes on Dr. Karev. He might be hallucinating, but she looks a little charmed.

“I’m hard on you, Schmitt.”

“You’re mean,” Levi accuses. Oops. He probably should’ve kept that one to himself.

“Maybe I’m a little mean.”

“And it’s only to me,” Levi adds. “You’re nice to Taryn.”

“How about this,” Dr. Karev says, “I’ll be nicer to you from now on. You just have to promise not to puke all over my hallway and get me in trouble with Bailey again.”

“That seems fair,” Levi says. 

“I’ll page Dr. Bailey and let her know you’re up.”

Dr. Karev leaves, and Levi turns his attention back to his husband. Nico looks fairly unhappy.

“She’s my boss,” Levi says. “You don’t have to defend my honor or whatever.”

Levi can tell Nico wants to press the issue but thinks better of it.

“Taryn stopped by,” he says instead. “She wanted to thank you for the opportunity to cut you open.”

Nico sounds pretty disturbed by the whole thing, but it makes Levi smile.

“If you were a surgical resident, you would understand.”

“You’re awake,” Dr. Bailey says as she enters the room.

“Dr. Bailey!” Levi grins. “Nico, Dr. Bailey took my appendix. It’s okay, though. I wanted her to.”

“You are so high,” Nico says. 

“You’d be high too if the Chief of Surgery saw your insides.”

“Everything went to plan,” Dr. Bailey interrupts. “I would send you home, but I’m not taking any chances with my interns. We’ll have you stay the night, and then you’re going home for a week.”

“I can’t miss a week,” Levi says soberly. “I’m already like the worst intern here.”

“I can assure you that is not the case,” Dr. Bailey says. She’s tapping away on Levi’s electronic chart. “I assume your husband will be able to watch over you while you’re home. Someone will have to be with you for your discharge tomorrow.”

“Nico just got promoted at work,” Levi frowns. “He can’t miss a week either.”

“Yes, I can,” Nico says to Levi. He turns to Bailey, “I’ll stay home with him. It’s not a problem.”

“Your boss is going to be mad,” Levi says.

“I think he’ll forgive me for taking some time off to watch over his son-in-law.”

“Excellent,” Dr. Bailey says. “You should get some sleep, Levi. Mr. Kim, you’re welcome to stay. I can have a nurse bring in a cot for you.”

“No, no, no,” Levi says. “Nico has the back of a seventy-year-old. He’s going home.”

“I’ll take the cot,” Nico says, and Levi is starting to feel completely ignored. 

“Honey –”

“One night won’t kill me, Levi.”

“You’re lucky I’m too tired to argue with you.”

“I really am,” Nico says to Dr. Bailey. “He almost always wins.”

Levi is already falling asleep again, so he can’t really refute that statement. 

= = = 

Nico wakes up before Levi the next morning, and he’s sad to confirm Levi’s suspicions about a night on the cot. His spine cracks in protest as he sits up, but it’s worth it to wake up in the same room as Levi.

He wasn’t lying when he told Levi he had nearly shit himself when he got Dr. Bailey’s call. He worries about Levi on a good day, so it’s a little hard to keep his wits about him when he’s actually sick. The thing is Levi is so good. He’s the best person Nico knows, even if he can be a bit dramatic. He has a huge heart and big feelings, and he’s prone to letting people walk all over him. He’s so honest and earnest, Nico could burst thinking about it. He’s maybe a bit over-protective when it comes to Levi, but they’re married. He’s made vows to have and to hold and all that. 

Regardless of the circumstances, it’s nice to put faces to all of the people Levi talks about. He’s met some of the interns. Taryn and Casey have been to their apartment more than once. Nico likes them enough, even though he doesn’t love how they treated Levi initially. He’s willing to forgive and forget though because Levi raves about them now. 

Meeting Jo Karev was interesting. He’s consoled Levi over some of the less-than-kind things she’s said to him since his internship started. He wasn’t expecting her to be so young. He’d been picturing a stern, older woman. 

Nico notices Levi stirring a bit, so he hops down from the cot to rub his shoulder.

“Nico?” Levi mumbles sleepily. 

“Hey,” Nico says. “You’re at the hospital. Do you remember yesterday?”

“Barely,” Levi says softly. “Am I okay now?”

“Yeah. Everything’s good. We’re going home today. Are you hungry? I can get you something from the cafeteria.”

“Cafeteria’s gross,” Levi says. “Don’t really feel like eating anyway. You should get some coffee for yourself. The cart in the lobby is pretty good.” 

“You’re getting discharged. I can wait.”

“You’ve obviously never been in a hospital before. It could take all day to get discharged.”

“That doesn’t seem very efficient.”

“It’s not. Go get coffee.”

Nico goes to get coffee. He wasn’t lying when he said Levi usually wins.

= = =

Nico is pouring stirring some half-and-half into his coffee when someone moves in next to him to fix their own coffee. He gets the familiar feeling of someone staring at him and looks up at the newcomer. 

It’s Dr. Karev, and she is definitely staring.

“We met at Stanford.”

“I didn’t –”

“You didn’t ask, but you wanted to. Levi and I met at Stanford. I was in law school and he was in medical school. We had the same favorite bar, and it took me weeks to get up the nerve to approach him.”

“You really don’t have to explain anything to me,” Dr. Karev says.

“I do though,” Nico says as he continues to stir his coffee. “You’re staring at me like people do when they can’t possibly fathom why Levi and I are together.”

He finally looks up from his coffee to meet Dr. Karev’s gaze, and she looks surprised by his straightforwardness. 

“I mean it’s not impossible to imagine,” she says. “Levi is persistent.”

It’s obviously a joke meant to break the tension, but Nico isn’t amused.

“It might surprise you, but Levi didn’t chase me. I chased him. I didn’t have a spontaneous glow-up after I was already stuck with him. He didn’t trick me into wanting to be with him. I chose him, and I put in the work to make this relationship happen.”

“I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying –”

“It’s fine. Bottom line is I love Levi. He’s sweet, and he’s freakishly smart, and he picked me to be his husband. So, it’s hard for me to stand here and be civil with you when I’ve heard all about how he’s treated here.”

“It’s nothing personal. It’s just part of being an intern.”

“It is personal though. Levi is a person. He’s my favorite person.”

Nico’s not sure if Dr. Karev is going to respond or not, but she’s saved by his phone chirping. 

Levi: They’re discharging me. Hurry back :)

“I’ve got to go,” Nico says. “It was nice meeting you. I guess.”

= = =

When he gets back to Levi’s room, it’s pretty obvious he’s been conned. Levi is still sitting in his hospital bed, and there’s no nurse in sight. He also looks very pleased with himself, so Nico can guess what’s happened here.

“Well you obviously haven’t been discharged.”

“Casey texted me,” Levi says. “Said he walked by you and Dr. Karev having an intense conversation in the lobby.”

It’s more a question than a statement, and Nico knows better than to ignore it.

“She approached me,” Nico explains. “And then –”

“And then you did what you always do when you think someone has dishonored me,” Levi finishes. 

“You’re not a Victorian era heroine. I’m not defending your honor.”

“Except you kind of are,” Levi counters. “I usually love it, but you can’t do that here. This is where I work. You could get me in trouble here.”

“I didn’t get you in trouble,” Nico assures. “And I just can’t help it. There’s no need to treat you the way she does! Does no one here teach by encouragement? How are you going to become confident surgeons if all of your superiors tear you down?”

“Everyone here thinks I’m dramatic, but they just haven’t met you.”

“I’m serious, Levi. My mentors at the firm would never talk to me the way your attendings talk to you. It’s not hard to treat people with respect.”

“You’re so in love with me,” Levi smiles.

“Shut up.”

= = = 

Levi is sitting up in the bed with Nico tucked up next to him. They’re watching an episode of Making the Cut on Nico’s phone. 

“This is better than the other one,” Nico says begrudgingly.

“I’m glad you think so because there’s a new episode every week.”

They’re interrupted by Dr. Karev. She walks in holding a tablet and doesn’t comment on the way they’re sharing the hospital bed.

“I’ve processed your discharge,” she says. 

Levi is surprised. He thought he’d be here another few hours since Bailey had back-to-back surgeries all day. 

“Thank you,” Levi says. “Do I have to use the wheelchair? I really feel –”

“We’ll use the wheelchair,” Nico interrupts. 

“Hospital policy,” Dr. Karev says. She’s smiling a little, which is a pretty unfamiliar sight for Levi.

“When can I come back?” Levi asks. “Dr. Bailey said – ”

“If you try to come back before next Monday, I’ll call your husband. I’m sure he’d be happy to come up here and drag you back home.”

“She’s not wrong,” Nico confirms. He gets out of the bed and starts gathering up their stuff. Taryn had stopped by earlier with Levi’s backpack and clothes from his cubby. 

“The nurse will bring in a wheelchair, and then you’re good to go,” Dr. Karev starts to leave but turns back. “Feel better, Schmitt. I’ll see you in two weeks.”

“That’ll give me enough time to iron my scrubs,” Levi says.

He hears Dr. Karev laugh as she leaves.


	2. Meeting the Kims

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Post-cannon breakup scenario where Levi has an unexpected encounter with his ex's parents

The pit at Grey-Sloan is quiet this afternoon. Most of today’s ER patients have been non-emergency cases – people without general practitioners looking for allergy relief, a couple of deep lacerations, a few drug-seekers, etc. Levi is typically annoyed by days like this. That is, days when he’s thrown down to the pit before he even gets a word out. Days like today are typically made even worse when nothing turns surgical.

Today he can’t find it in himself to be annoyed. Levi looks over the sea of mostly empty beds and feels a little relieved. He’s on the tail end of a 48-hour stint at the hospital, and he’s pretty tired. His physical exhaustion is compounded with his emotional exhaustion. He’s just gotten out of a nearly two-year relationship. To make things worse, it ended with a fizzle rather than a bang. There had been no screaming or name-calling. No sobbing or begging, at least in each other’s company. There had only been a short, quiet conversation in the hallway at work. That was it.

Levi knows they came together rather dramatically. It’s hard for a breakup to compete with a windstorm and being trapped in an ambulance and being caught in said ambulance by your boss. Levi’s never even had a breakup before, so he doesn’t know what right he has to feel like this one just wasn’t up to standard. It happened though, regardless of how he feels about it or how he might wish things were different.

He’s handling it relatively well if Taryn, Casey, and Jo are to be believed. Levi’s not sure if he should be thankful for their encouragement or offended they assumed he’d be an inconsolable mess. For all the ways the split feels it came from nowhere – he really didn’t expect to get dumped in the middle of the workday – it also felt a bit inevitable, especially toward the end. Levi has had time to think it over, and Nico made the right call. There was no way to continue the way they were over the last couple of months. Things fell apart quickly and unexpectedly, but they did fall apart. Levi knows that.

He’s not sure how fair Nico was– implying Levi was too clingy even though they’d been together for nearly two years, being completely put off by any sort of conversation about being serious. There’s also the whole disagreement about Nico’s unwillingness to come out to his parents when he’d nearly demanded Levi be out. Levi is past the point of giving Nico all the blame, though. He knows he can be annoying – he’d told Nico as much only to kind of have it thrown back in his face. He knows he could do with more patience. He’s a pusher, and he pushed Nico further than he was willing to go. That’s on Levi. Even if he still doesn’t think conversations about moving in together and factoring each other in to job opportunities were completely out of line. Wanting something solid with the guy you’re in love with doesn’t make you annoying – being incessant about it in spite of numerous verbal and nonverbal implications of Nico’s unwillingness to do the same might. 

The fact is that they’re over. It’s over, and he conceivably may never see Nico again. Well, see him in person again. He’s seen him plenty on his Instagram feed over the past week and a half. Nico had agreed to let Taryn get Levi’s stuff from his place. Not that it mattered. According to Taryn, his stuff was by the door and Nico was nowhere to be found when she dropped by to get it. They’ve texted a little bit. Mostly just arrangements for returning each other’s things. Levi still had a few of Nico’s textbooks. Nico had almost all of Levi’s possessions at his apartment. Isn’t that a little representative of everything wrong with their relationship? He’d gotten one well-intentioned message from Nico making sure he had somewhere to stay. Levi hadn’t been in the mood for olive branches, though, so he ignored it.

Levi thinks he’d take an olive branch now. It’s been a week with zero contact, and he’s beginning to wonder if one last meetup for closure is only a thing on TV. He scrolls aimlessly through the charts of patients he’s seen today. In a way, he’s grateful for the empty pit and a chance to sit with his thoughts. He’s usually so busy at work he can’t take a minute to think about his mental wellbeing. Then, when he gets home it’s all about Jo and her sadness. Which is probably fair. It’s her apartment, and her husband left her for another women and secret children. Levi doesn’t typically condone comparing hardships, but hers is objectively worse.

The less kind part of his brain points out that at least Alex sent Jo a letter where he explained his choices – somewhat – and apologized. All Levi got was an “alright.” Then – boom – relationship over. See you never because I’m taking a fancy new job with a bunch of hot, sweaty baseball players.

Anyways, it’s a quiet day in the pit, and Levi is beginning to wonder if he can push his duties off onto one of his interns and go home when a nurse in the far corner of the room calls for him.

He sighs and carries the tablet over to the indicated bed. There’s an older Asian lady cradling her arm. She’s pretty scraped up, and there’s blood on her nice top. Levi supposes his day could be worse.

“Hello,” Levi says, and he makes a point to stand up straight. People tend to think he’s older when he stands up straight. “I’m Dr. Schmitt, and I’ll take a look at that arm for you. Sherry will work on cleaning up your other arm.”

The nurse who called Levi over starts to do just that. Levi maneuvers that patients arm into a few positions. He has her make a fist and sees if she can rotate from palm-up to palm-down. She’s obviously in pain, but if it’s a break it seems fairly minor.

“Okay, so that all looks pretty good,” Levi assures. “I can’t completely rule out a break without some scans, so I want to get you down to x-ray. If there’s a break, it’ll be very minor. You likely won’t even need a cast. I’ll call to get someone to take you down to radiology, and we’ll go from there. Meanwhile, I’ll let Sherry finish cleaning up the cuts.”

Levi takes off his gloves and beings to walk away when he hears Sherry address the patient.

“Mrs. Kim, is there anyone we can call for you?”

Levi’s being ridiculous. Kim is, like, a crazy common Korean name. It’s like Smith or Johnson or –

“I’m in town visiting my son,” Mrs. Kim says. “He and my husband are at a Mariner’s game. I thought I’d go downtown for some shopping, but I got clipped by that biker.”

Levi feels his heart pounding, and he turns back to Mrs. Kim. So much for an easy day in the pit.

“You said it’s probably not serious, right?” Mrs. Kim asks him. Levi’s not sure if it’s confirmation bias, but he’s suddenly seeing the family resemblance. “I’d hate to ruin their afternoon if I’ll be fixed up by the time the game is over.”

“It’s up to you,” Levi manages. His mouth is getting progressively dryer. He hopes his unease isn’t apparent.

“It’s just my son works _all the time_ ,” Mrs. Kim continues. Levi can hear the disproval there. He remembers what Nico said about his parents being hypercritical. “This is the most we’ve seen of him in months. Surely I don’t need to interrupt his afternoon for this.”

“What does your son do?” Sherry asks. Levi is partly grateful because now at least he’ll know for sure. He’s also a little irritated because there goes his claim to plausible deniability.

“He’s a doctor,” Mrs. Kim says. There’s not much of the parental pride Levi hears from patients with kids in the field. “He’s a surgeon here, or he was. He’s about to start a new job with the baseball team. Maybe you know him? Nico Kim.”

Levi knew from Nico’s extended absence he’d likely taken the new job, but it sucks to have it confirmed. He should’ve known better than to try and embrace an easy day. 

Levi can feel Sherry trying to catch his eye. The whole hospital knows about Nico and him. The whole hospital does not know Nico’s parents do not know about Nico and him. Sherry is a bit of a gossip, so they’ll know now. She seems to have the good sense to remain quiet about it right now. So that’s at least something.

“I do know Nico,” Levi says. He hopes it comes off as unaffected as he’s trying to sound.

“Really?” Mrs. Kim says with genuine surprise.

“I’m a surgical resident, so we’ve worked together,” Levi explains. He can feel Sherry staring at him, so he keeps going. “We’re friends. We’re friendly.”

“Excuse my surprise,” Mrs. Kim says, and again there’s that recurring feeling she’s getting ready to pile on some critique. “Nico hardly shares anything about his personal life. We’d just assumed he kept to himself. That would be typical Nico.”

“I think he’d want to know you’re here,” Levi says because he really can’t stop himself. “I don’t think he’d want some other ortho guy taking a look at his mom’s arm. He hasn’t resigned yet, so he can come take a look.”

Mrs. Kim is evaluating him in some way. Her eyes are a little narrowed, and Levi feels the scrutiny. Maybe he’s gone too far, acted too familiar. As much as he wants Nico to live his truth with his parents, he doesn’t want to be the guy that accidentally outed him.

“You may call him,” she says finally. “You must be good friends to talk about him like that.”

“We’re friendly,” Levi repeats. “I’ll go make the call, and you can wait here to be taken down to radiology.”

He scampers back to the nurse’s desk with his heart in his throat. For a second, he’s glad of his escape. Then he remembers he just promised to call his ex-boyfriend who he hasn’t spoken with since the breakup. He scans the room, but everyone seems busy. There are no nurses around to ask to make the call. He has to do it.

He picks up his phone but thinks better of it. Nico is probably more likely to pick up a call from the hospital than from Levi. He grabs the desk phone and gets Nico’s number from his own phone.

It only rings twice before Nico picks up.

“Hello?”

There’s a moment of insanity where Levi wants to try and disguise his voice and fake being some random male nurse.

“It’s me,” Levi says instead because he’s trying to be a good doctor. He’s trying not to be an insane person.

“Levi?” Nico asks incredulously. “What are you –”

“Your mom is here,” Levi interrupts before Nico can think he’s really resulted to calling from the hospital to chat. “She came to the ER. She got clipped by a biker downtown.”

There’s a weighted pause.

“Is she okay?” Nico asks.

“She’s fine,” Levi assures. “She maybe broke her arm, but it’s a minor break if at all. She didn’t want to call you because you’re busy with your dad, or whatever, but I thought you would want to know. Not that I called you even though she told me not to. She changed her mind, I swear. I’m not trying to, um, stick myself in your business. She said to call you, so I’m calling you.”

“Okay,” Nico says. “Yeah. We’ll head that way.”

“Okay,” Levi says. “Just come to the pit. Radiology is backed up like always, so she’ll probably still be here when you get here.”

“Got it,” Nico says.

Levi is about to say bye and hang up when Nico speaks again.

“You didn’t, um. You haven’t said anything about –”

Levi goes cold all over, and he feels a little bit of the anger he’s been repressing over the past week.

“No, Nico, I didn’t out you to your mother by regaling her with tales of our failed relationship,” Levi replies cuttingly. “She asked if I knew you and I told her we were _friendly_.” Levi scoffs a bit at the absurdness of the word, and its completely inability to encompass what they truly were.

“I didn’t –”

“You did, though,” Levi interrupts. “I’m not going to say anything. I may not like you very much right now, but I’m not actively trying to ruin your life.”

“Levi –”

“I’ve got to go,” Levi says. “I have other patients.”

“Okay. I’ll see you soon, I guess,” Nico says.

“I guess,” Levi says, even though he’s already thinking of ten other people he could push this case onto. He thinks of something else, too. “Nico, we weren’t a secret here. I’m not going to say anything to your mom, but someone else might.”

“Right,” Nico says. The dial tone follows.

Levi finds himself wishing for a big trauma, which is maybe not something a good person would wish for. As it stands, the pit is still empty. There’s really no reason he shouldn’t tell Mrs. Kim he’s talked to Nico.

He walks over to her bedside. She’s still sitting up, and Levi figures she’s not the type to lie down in public.

“I spoke with Nico,” Levi says. “He and your husband are on the way. They’ll probably get here before you get your x-ray. So, you’ll at least have some company while you wait.”

“I was wondering if you could answer something for me,” Mrs. Kim says. “Since you and Nico are _friendly_.”

She says the word like the idea of it humors her – as if it’s inconceivable for Nico to have friends. Or maybe it’s inconceivable that someone like Nico would be friends with someone like Levi. One option makes him feel sorry for Nico, the other makes him feel sorry for himself.

“I can try,” Levi says.

“Why would Nico give up a job at the leading surgical research hospital in the country to work for a sports team?”

Nico apparently wasn’t lying about his parents being critical. Mrs. Kim seems willing to criticize her son to a complete stranger, so there’s no telling what she says to Nico’s face. There’s no telling what she would say if she knew who Levi really was.

“Um,” Levi says because he can’t think of an immediate answer. It’s a question he’s asked himself a few times over the last week and a half. “I don’t think –”

“You’re a surgeon, are you not? Would you give up your position here for a position of less prestige?”

“I would –”

“Nico has always been this way. He can’t commit to anything. He goes into medical school wanting to be a dermatologist, he comes out wanting to be a surgeon. He starts his residency wanting to be a cardiothoracic surgeon and comes out wanting to break bones for a living. He gets a job at the most prestigious hospital on the west coast, and he throws it away to work for a sports team.”

Levi feels his indignant side rising. He’s spent his fair share of the past week and a half trash talking Nico, but he’s the ex-boyfriend. It feels wrong coming from the mother.

“Nico was offered his dream job,” Levi says honestly. “It’s hard to turn that down.”

“Well,” Mrs. Kim says, “it’s certainly not the job I would’ve picked for him.”

Levi feels a little convicted because only two weeks ago he felt the same way. He’d even felt the same way about San Francisco months before. Sure, it’s Nico’s dream, but Grey-Sloan is a good gig. Why couldn’t that be enough?

Now that he’s hearing it from someone else, Levi can hear how unsupportive it sounds.

“It’s been nice to meet you, Mrs. Kim. I really should get to the other patients now.”

Mrs. Kim only stares at him, then she looks pointedly around the empty pit. It’s obvious there are no other patients to be seen.

“Aren’t you my doctor?” she asks. “Surely you can keep me company until Nico and his father get here. I thought healthcare was moving toward a more personal approach.”

Levi’s skin is prickly. If he’s already this bothered by her judgment, he can’t imagine how Nico feels after a lifetime of it.

“Sure,” Levi says. “I think they can spare me for a few minutes.”

It’s easier to acquiesce than to argue. It’s also probably better to fold and not give Mrs. Kim another thing to complain to Nico about. Maybe she’ll at least leave thinking he has nice friends.

= = =

While it feels like hours of sitting and listening to Mrs. Kim critique her entire forty-eight hours in Seattle, it’s probably only about half an hour before Nico and a man who must be Mr. Kim show up.

Nico rushes over, and his dad follows at an easier pace. Nico barely gives Levi a glance as the three of them begin to speak in rapid Korean. To be fair, it might not be all that rapid. That might just be Levi’s English-only perspective.

He knows it’s unfair to try and judge Nico’s relationship with his parents by this one interaction in which he can’t even understand what’s being said. Even so, the tension is a little obvious. Nico goes to examine his mom’s arm, and she gestures for him to leave it alone while saying something harshly. His dad stands mostly silent and with very little emotion.

Nico finally turns to Levi.

“Thank you,” he says. It sounds genuine, and Levi offers a smile in return.

“It was my pleasure,” Levi says more for Mrs. Kim’s benefit than Nico’s. Nico is looking at him like he knows exactly how untrue it is. “I should probably go finish up some charts though. It’s been a slow day, but the paperwork somehow still piles up.”

Nico smiles. Levi isn’t sure if it’s from the relief of knowing Levi is leaving, or if he’s that grateful. Either way, Levi just got through his first run in with his ex, and he didn’t burst into tears. He didn’t even get teary. He gets teary over most things, so this is a major accomplishment.

“Dr. Schmitt told me the two of you are friends,” Mrs. Kim says before Levi can walk away. “It was nice to actually meet one of your friends.”

Nico just smiles tightly. Mr. Kim, however, is finally interested in what’s going on.

“You two know each other?” he asks.

“I worked here, Dad,” Nico says tersely. “I technically still do. Of course I know the surgical residents.”

Levi wasn’t expected Nico to jump in with tales of their friendship, but he also wasn’t expecting him to brush it off completely. It hurts to be reduced to a coworker, and Levi wants to get out of here.

“I’ve got to run, but I’ll see you after your x-ray,” Levi says and he darts off before he can be stopped again.

= = =

Levi finds an empty desk where he can chart in peace. He half expected Nico to follow him eventually, but it doesn’t happen. Levi isn’t sure if he’s glad or disappointed. Again, he’s struck with the notion this might be the last time they see each other. Again, he can’t muster up the courage to do something about it.

What’s the point anyway? If today has shown Levi anything, it’s that the situation between Nico and his parents is never going to change. It’s also confirmed Nico is moving on from Grey-Sloan, which means he’s moving on from Levi by association. He gets to go to a whole new job in a whole new building where he’ll never have to step into the elevator where they had their first kiss or sleep in an on call room where they had inappropriate workplace relations or walk out the front doors to the sidewalk where they first said “I love you.”

Nico has no reason to ever contact Levi again. He’ll probably even manage to go days without even thinking of him.

It seems unfair, and it’s enough to make Levi’s eyes well up a little bit. He’s so emotional these days, which is annoying because it’s exactly the kind of thing Nico dumped him over. He’s a slave to his feelings.

He gathers himself just in time to get a page from radiology. Mrs. Kim’s x-rays are done, so he swallows the sadness and makes his way to the next floor.

= = =

When he finds Nico’s mom, she’s sitting in a chair in the radiology waiting area with Mr. Kim. Nico is nowhere to be found. Levi surveys the hall and finds an empty exam room for them to talk about the scan. HIPAA doesn’t allow these conversations to happen in the waiting room, even if there’s not much to be said.

Levi slaps the x-ray onto the light box and gestures to it while he speaks.

“It’s all good news today. There’s no fracture. Obviously, you have the bruising, swelling, and pain from breaking your fall with that arm. I’d recommend icing the arm for twenty to thirty minutes four times a day. Feel free to take Ibuprofen or other mild pain killers if you need to.”

“Thank you,” Mrs. Kim says. “I’ve been impressed with you, Dr. Schmitt. I’m glad you and Nico are friends. You could be an excellent influence on him.”

Levi is pretty tired of this whole shtick, so he figures he may as well go out with a bang.

“Actually, Nico’s the one who’s been a good influence on me. He’s a great teacher, and he’s the first person here who made me excited about surgery. Nico doesn’t just break bones for a living. He’s an artist, and he’s a fantastic orthopedic surgeon.”

Mr. Kim is the first to speak, “Well he won’t be doing much surgery anymore. Maybe you should talk to him about how giving up this job is an outrageous decision to make this early in his career.”

“The Mariners want him because he’s exceptional at what he does. It’s Nico’s dream job, and he deserves to do what he wants. He’s earned it.”

Levi wants to leave it at that. He really does. Only he can’t because Nico, who has apparently been standing in the doorway this whole time, chooses then to chime in.

“I leave for five minutes and you’re trying to persuade my friends to talk me out of my new job. As if the lectures over lunch yesterday or dinner last night or lunch today weren’t enough.”

Levi wants to slip past Nico and leave. It feels a little inappropriate to witness this. He also wants to stay and stand with Nico as he confronts his parents. He stays.

“I don’t know why I even bother,” Nico continues. “If being a straight, successful surgeon isn’t enough for you, what’s the point of even trying to please you?”

Mr. and Mrs. Kim are remarkably stoic. Levi can’t tell if they’re unaffected, or if they’re too shocked to say anything.

“I’ve worked hard my whole life,” Nico says. “I have done everything right. I went to Ivy League schools, I did my residency and fellowship at top ten hospitals, and I am a good son. There are parents who pray their son turns out like me.”

“Nico –”

It’s Mrs. Kim who tries to interject, but it seems Nico is on a bit of a role.

“It’s never been enough for you. You’re mad when I go weeks without speaking with you, but every time we talk it ends with you complaining. You’re disappointed I haven’t settled down or started a family, but you criticize me for taking a job that might actually allow me to dedicate some time to my personal life. I bend over backwards to hide anything about myself I know you won’t like, and it doesn’t even matter. You don’t like me anyway. Why do I even bother?”

Levi can sense where this is going, and it feels wrong to not at least try and stop it. Nico should at least have a second to think about what he’s doing here – what he’s risking.

“Nico, maybe we should –”

“I’m gay,” Nico says flatly, like he’s telling his parents the day of the week. “I date men. I was dating Dr. Schmitt here until about a week ago.”

Mr. and Mrs. Kim’s jaws drop in synch. This is obviously brand-new information.

“You’re my parents, and I know you love me,” Nico says. He’s really doing this here, and he doesn’t seem to be stopping. “You don’t like me very much, though. It’s okay. I think I can be okay with that if it means I don’t have to hide who I am anymore. I’m okay with it if it means I can stop letting my fucked-up relationship with you ruin all of my other relationships.”

Nico stops. He seems to know he’s said enough, even though his parents still haven’t said anything in return.

“You’ve had a long day, Mom,” he says. “You guys should go back to your hotel. Levi’s right. You should ice the arm. I’ve got a meeting tomorrow morning, so I won’t see you before your flight. Have a safe trip or whatever.”

Levi watches as Nico gives them a quick nod, and then he’s gone. He’s left Levi with his flailing parents who now know he’s their son’s ex-boyfriend.

“I’ll process your discharge, but you’re free to go,” Levi says because what else can he really say? He feels he’s already overstepped enough today.

“You dated our son,” Mrs. Kim says. There’s no hint of emotion there – no sign of whether the fact makes her angry or surprised or sad.

“Yes,” Levi says. He tries to be emotionless too.

“But you’ve broken up.”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“Lots of reasons, really,” Levi says softly.

“But you won’t name them,” Mrs. Kim says.

“I don’t think it’s my place,” Levi corrects. “Nico can tell you if he wants you to know.”

“You’re not who I would picture with Nico,” Mrs. Kim says. “Man or woman aside, you’re not who I would picture.”

“I’m sorry to disappoint you,” Levi says, even though he’s really not. He feels a little pleased to have surprised her, really.

Mr. Kim remains silent, and Levi finally leaves.

= = =

He finds Nico standing outside the residents’ lounge, and he’s obviously waiting for Levi to walk by.

“Hey,” he says.

“So that just happened,” Levi says, not unkindly.

“Yeah,” Nico breathes out. “I didn’t really mean for it to happen, but it did.”

“It was good,” Levi says because that’s what he would want someone to say if he was in Nico’s shoes. “It’s good you did that. They needed to know. You deserve the freedom of them knowing.”

“I meant what I said,” Nico says. Levi is confused for a moment, and it must show. “I let my baggage with my parents ruin all of my relationships. I let it ruin us.”

Levi knows it would be easy to leave it at that, but he’s never been good at letting things sit. Especially when it comes to Nico.

“I didn’t care that you weren’t out to your parents,” Levi says.

Nico is obviously about to protest.

“I cared that you lied about it, even if it was only by omission.”

“I guess that’s fair,” Nico says.

“And then after you told me this huge personal thing you refused to talk about it. I wasn’t just some guy you’d been sleeping with, and it’s not like we barely knew each other. We’d been together over a year, and we loved each other. I think that entitles me to at least a conversation about it.”

It feels a little wrong to pile on to Nico’s bad day, but it also feels kind of good to let it all out.

“So it wasn’t that you’re not out to your family. I can understand that. I’m still not speaking to my mom, so I get it. It’s that you won’t talk to me about _anything_. Maybe I was unfair when I said I’m the only one who compromises in this relationship, but you were unfair to give me the bare minimum at every opportunity.”

“Levi, that’s not what I –”

“Maybe I’m unrealistic because you’re my first love and my first serious relationship, but I thought we were going to be a team. I was expecting to be a part of a team. You were my greatest supporter when it comes to work, but you’re completely unwilling to give me any support emotionally.”

“I don’t think that’s fair,” Nico finally inserts. “I supported you when everyone was giving you a hard time with Meredith’s trial. I sat at your uncle’s death bed. I helped you move out of your mom’s house.”

“Yeah, and then you immediately held it against me.”

“I wasn’t ready to live with you,” Nico asserts. “I’m sorry there’s no way to compromise on living together. Either you do or you don’t.”

“There’s a nicer way to handle it than constantly pushing me to look for a new place,” Levi counters. “If you would’ve just explained why you think we’re not there yet then I’m willing to listen. You never explain anything though; you just endlessly assert your opinion and avoid me when I want to ask questions.

“You’re my boss at work, and that’s fine. You’re not my boss when it comes to you and me. I’m entitled to an opinion on our relationship, and I have the right to a discussion about things that will affect both of us. Even if you think it’s a hardship.”

“I’m not like you, Levi. I don’t come from some warm fuzzy family where we sit around and talk about our feelings. This is who I am, and you’ve never been willing to accept that.”

“Why do you only see it as me refusing to accept you the way you are? If that’s the case, then you’re refusing to accept me the way I am too.”

Nico doesn’t seem to have a reply for that.

“Maybe you’re right,” Levi says. “Maybe there’s just no compromise that can make us both happy. But I know I’m right when I say you’re not happy with how things are with your family. This whole no-emotions thing might be how you were raised, but is it how you want to live the rest of your life? It’s clearly done nothing but make you miserable.”

“I have never said –”

“Is that what you want from me?” Levi gestures vaguely down the hall to indicate Nico’s parents. “You want me to stand solemnly by your bedside after you’ve hurt yourself? You want me to stare blankly at our children while they reveal their deepest secrets?”

“ _No_ ,” Nico says. “I just want you to accept that I want to live in the moment sometimes. I don’t want to talk endlessly about where we’ll be years from now. I want you to understand we won’t always agree on everything. We’re going to want different things sometimes, and we’re going to have to accept that we’ll sometimes want to put ourselves first. That has to be okay.”

“I can live with that,” Levi finds himself saying. He’s not sure when this went from getting the last word to desperately hoping it’s not the last word.

“You can?” Nico says in a tone that implies the thinks it’s definitely not the case.

“Yes,” Levi says. “See? If you just verbalize what you want, I can at least know where your head is when you’re issuing ultimatums or dumping me in the hallway.”

“I think we kind of dumped each other,” Nico says.

“No way,” Levi argues. “You dumped me! ‘I hope you find someone who will give that to you’? That was you breaking up with me.”

“I thought we would talk about it some more. I thought I would see you at the apartment later or something. I didn’t think that would be our last conversation,” Nico says. “There’s usually a series of conversations and at least one instance of breakup sex before it’s really over."

“Well how was I supposed to know that?” Levi says, and there’s a hint of a laugh.

“I’ll take credit for what I said in the hallway, but you’re the one who stopped answering my texts and sent your friends to pick up your stuff. I thought you didn’t want to hear from me anymore.”

“I thought the breaker-upper called the shots! I was waiting for one last conversation, but I thought you would be the one to arrange it.”

“The ‘breaker-upper,’ really?” Nico asks humorously.

“We’re off topic,” Levi says. “Look, maybe your relationship with your parents has made you a little cold. Maybe my relationship with my mother has made me a little neurotic. It doesn’t mean we have to keep being that way with each other. We can be better if we commit to trying.”

“So, you’re saying you’re willing to try?”

Levi doesn’t think he’s imagining the hopeful tone.

“Only if you are.”

Nico smiles.

= = =

Three months later Levi is walking with Taryn from the residents’ lounge to the lobby. They’re coming off a relatively simple day. Levi’s interns actually did as they were told for once, and he had gotten to do the majority of a bowel resection with Dr. Grey.

“Want to get a drink at Joe’s?” Taryn asks. They’re actually leaving the hospital at a reasonable time, and Levi had been expecting her to ask.

“I would, but –”

“Okay what is with you lately?” Taryn interrupts. “You’re not as secretive as you think you are. We’ve all noticed how smiley and bouncy and unavailable you’ve been over the past few months.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Levi says, but he can’t hide his grin.

“Okay who is it?” Taryn asks. “Is it the new guy in hematology because I totally caught him checking you out last Tuesday. It’s great if he makes you happy and all but a hematologist? He stares at petri dishes all day, Levi.”

Levi didn’t even know there was a new guy in hematology, much less one that was checking him out. Taryn seems pretty determined to get some sort of information, so he figures it can’t hurt to throw her a bone.

“He doesn’t work here.”

“So there is someone!” Taryn exclaims. “I knew it. Well, Jo knew it first. She cross checked the nights you weren’t staying at the apartment with the nights that you were on call, and she said it didn’t match up.”

“Well that’s not a huge invasion of privacy or anything.”

“That’s not what matters here,” Taryn says, and she grips Levi firmly on the shoulder. “What matters is you’re finally moving on! This calls for celebration. You have to come get drinks. Invite the guy!”

It’s tempting. Levi almost laughs aloud imagining what Taryn’s face would do when she laid eyes on his mystery boyfriend.

“I’m not really ready to get him involved in all of this,” Levi says.

“Come on,” Taryn groans. “Until I find my soulmate, I’m doomed to live vicariously through your love life. I need to meet this guy. Casey will come too! We can make sure it’s not a one-way relationship this time, and help you get out sooner if it is.”

“My last relationship wasn’t one-sided,” Levi argues. He always feels uncomfortable when he has to start defending Nico to Taryn. She really jumped off the bandwagon toward the end.

“Just come out with us,” Taryn urges. “You never go out anymore.”

“I really can’t,” Levi says.

“Your guy can’t be alone for one night?”

“He can be alone,” Levi says. “We just prefer to be together.”

“Well that’s more than you can say for the last guy,” Taryn jokes, and Levi realizes there’s only one way to put an end to this.

“It’s Nico.”

“What?”

“It’s not a new guy. It’s the old guy. I’m seeing Nico again.”

“Levi! Why would you –”

“I’ve been seeing him. We’ve been back together for three months. The breakup didn’t even last two weeks.”

Levi is grateful they’ve made it to the lobby. He can make a break for his car if this gets ugly.

“Nico,” Taryn deadpans. “Nico is the guy who’s got you all shiny and happy. Are you kidding me?”

“He’s better now,” Levi says. “We’re better now. There was this whole thing with his parents, and we got a chance to actually talk about what went wrong. We decided we still wanted to be together, and it’s been better. I promise.”

“I don’t like him for you,” Taryn says. At least she’s consistent.

“You don’t have to,” Levi shrugs. “I know you think he’s cold and, like, unavailable. Three months ago, I would’ve agreed with you. He’s being better about that, and I’m being better about my, like, neurotic tendencies or whatever.”

“He called you neurotic?”

“No,” Levi groans. “I am neurotic, Taryn. Don’t act like you’ve never thought it.”

“I don’t understand why you want to be with someone who treated you the way he did.”

“I’m still friends with you, aren’t I?” Levi asks, and he continues before Taryn can question him. “You weren’t always super nice to me either. Not to mention the cold shoulder after Meredith Grey’s trial.”

“I apologized –”

“No. _I_ apologized to you,” Levi corrects.

“That’s exactly your problem, Levi,” Taryn says. “You let people take advantage of you. How am I supposed to believe Nico is suddenly the perfect boyfriend?”

“You’ve said it yourself! I’m happy and shiny and all of that stuff that annoys everyone we work with. Nico isn’t perfect, but neither am I. We’re choosing to make this work because we want to be together. I don’t know where it’s going to go, but I’m happy. Can’t that be enough for now?”

They stop near the entry, and Taryn takes a second to assess Levi from head to toe.

“I guess that’s enough for now.”

“Thank you,” Levi sighs.

“You’re not getting out of coming to Joe’s,” Taryn says. “Call your boyfriend. Tell him it’s time to re-meet the friends.”

Levi knows a challenge when he hears one. Taryn may play the accepting friend card, but she’s obviously using this moment to gauge whether Nico is a new man or not.

Levi pulls out his phone, and there’s an unopened message from Nico.

**Nico: Do you want to pick up dinner? I can order something**

Levi meets Taryn’s eyes, “I’ll text him.”

**Levi: Change of plans. Meet me, Taryn, and Casey at Joe’s?**

Nico replies quickly.

**Nico: First round is on me.**

Taryn would never admit it, but Levi can tell she’s impressed.


	3. Aloha, Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Future fic where widower Levi and Nico end up at the same medical conference
> 
> Thanks for your kind comments on the last two chapters! Feel free to leave a comment suggesting a prompt :)

It’s a sunny day in Seattle, which isn’t as unusual as some would have you think. Levi has managed to pull himself out of bed early enough to take his dog for a walk in the park. To be fair, Paddy – short for Paddington, Levi’s favorite childhood stuffed animal –is kind of walking him. It’s hard to keep up with a fully-grown, excited Newfoundland. Especially when you’re running on four hours of sleep.

“Paddy, slow down!” Levi begs pointlessly as he speeds to a jog to keep up.

The truth is Levi has never been a dog person. He appreciates dogs. He can acknowledge their general goodness and cuteness. He just never pictured himself as a dog owner.

Jack loved dogs though, and Levi loved Jack.

As a puppy, Paddy had been a tiny, adorable nightmare. He tore up shoes, left puddles of pee on the floor, and then endeared himself to them with hours of cuddling. It was a vicious cycle, but it was enough to make Jack completely enamored with the tiny ball of fluff. Levi took a little longer to come around.

Now Jack is gone, and it’s just Levi and Paddy.

Levi is pulled from the memories by his phone ringing. He manages to bring Paddy to a stop, and he sits with a wagging tail while Levi checks the caller ID. It’s Link, which is so unusual, but it’s a little unexpected on his day off.

“Hello?” Levi answers.

“Hey, man! Listen one of my chondrosarcoma patients isn’t doing well. It looks like the cancer has spread, and I’m going to need some time to come up with a treatment plan with oncology.”

Levi is confused, “Okay. Do you need me to take over some of your caseload, or –”

“Maybe,” Link says. “That’s not why I’m calling, though. I was supposed to go to that robotic surgery conference in Honolulu this weekend, but I just don’t think I can swing it now. This guy needs my full attention.”

“Oh,” Levi says. He’s still not sure where he fits into all of this. Levi is one of three orthopedic surgeon attendings working under Link, and he’s the freshest one by far. “Do you want me to come in for a consult on your guy?”

“No, Schmitt,” Levi laughs. “I want you to go to Honolulu in my place.”

Levi is sure he’s misinterpreting something, but he rolls with it anyway.

“That’s nice of you to offer, but I really can’t afford a trip to Hawaii right now.”

It’s the truth, sadly. Levi’s new attending salary blows his fellowship one out of the water. However, he’s still paying off medical school bills and some residual medical bills.

“It’s already paid for,” Link says. “The conference wanted someone from Grey-Sloan to come, so they covered my expenses. I’ll just call and explain I need you to go in my place. I’ll get the plane ticket swapped and everything.”

“I don’t have the vacation time for this,” Levi argues.

“It counts as work hours,” Link counters. “Look, I could send Johnson or McCoy if you really don’t want to go, but I think this could be good for you, Levi. You haven’t been on vacation since –”

Link stops. Everyone always stops.

“I just think this trip could be exactly what you need, and you’ll be able to fill me in on the wonderful world of medical advancement when you get back,” Link finishes.

Levi looks at Paddy and blows out a breath. He’s annoyed like he always is when he gets the sense someone is trying to fix him. He also can’t deny a trip to Hawaii sounds pretty enticing.

“I don’t have anyone to watch Paddy,” Levi says, and Paddy looks up at him at the sound of his name. Levi gives him a few pats on the head. “He hates boarding at the vet, and my mom is allergic.”

There’s a weighted pause.

“I’ll watch him,” Link finally says. Levi feels a smile pulling at his face.

“Really?” he asks.

“Yeah,” Link says, and Levi can hear the hesitance. Link isn’t one to admit his weaknesses, though. “I can watch him. I love dogs.”

“He’s more horse than dog,” Levi says. “But if you’re sure, I guess I can go to Hawaii.”

“I’m sure,” Link says, and he sounds sincere. “Amelia loves dogs, and Jamie will be very excited.”

Levi smiles at the thought of Link’s seven-year-old trying to keep up with Paddy.

“Okay. I’ll go to Hawaii.”

= = =

Levi walks Paddy back home and works on a mental packing list. His flight to Hawaii is in five short hours, so he’ll have to gather up everything pretty quickly to get to the airport on time. Thankfully, Link offered to pick up Paddy and his stuff after work, so he doesn’t have to worry about dropping him off at Link’s.

He lets himself in the apartment, and Paddy darts toward his water bowl immediately. Levi rubs him as he passes him on the way to the bedroom. He walks over to the closet and manages to pull his suitcase down from the top shelf. He flips it open, and realizes he has no idea what to pack for a medical conference. He should’ve asked Link for the itinerary.

He figures business casual is never wrong, so he grabs some dress pants and a few button-up shirts. His two suits are hung up in dry cleaning bags, and he grabs those too. He adds too many pairs of underwear and some socks. His favorite pajama pants are in the dirty laundry, so he grabs his next favorite option and packs them. For good measure, he opens and closes each dresser drawer to make sure he isn’t forgetting anything. The last drawer he opens holds some miscellaneous stuff, there’s some t-shirts from college that probably don’t fit anymore, but there’s also his two swimsuits.

Levi just stares at them for a second. He’s not sure how much free time there will be, or if he’s confident enough to done short-shorts in front of his peers.

It’s Hawaii, though, so it seems wrong to not pack them.

When he picks them up to put them in the suitcase, Levi is hit with the faint sent of sunscreen and sand. It’s crazy how swimsuits never really lose that smell. Even when they’ve gone years without wear.

That’s certainly the case for Levi’s trunks. They haven’t been worn since the honeymoon. He’s hit with a quick streak of grief. It’s a familiar sensation, and one he’s gotten better at handling. He usually brushes it off and looks for a distraction. Instead, he finds himself sitting on the edge of the bed, swimsuits in hand.

Memories are weird. Levi knows he and Jack spent two weeks in the Bahamas, but it’s mostly a blur apart from one distinctive day on the beach. He can recall it like it was last week, even though it was four years ago. Jack had insisted on carrying everything, refusing to let Levi even tote a towel.

Jack was like that – needlessly stubborn but inherently kind.

Anyways, it led to Jack busting it only a few steps into the sand. Levi put out a hand to help him up, but Jack opted to pull him down with him. They laughed, and kissed, and got sand all over themselves.

It’s a good memory – a great one, even. Levi knows he should let himself think about the good memories more often.

They were happy, and in love, and high on having just dedicated the rest of their lives to each other. They had no idea they would only get three years.

Levi feels his eyes welling up, but he tosses the swimsuits into his suitcase anyway.

= = =

Levi is pretty tired by the time he makes it to his gate. He’s comforted knowing he can catch some sleep on the six-and-a-half-hour flight to Honolulu. The conference gave Link a first-class ticket, so that’s nice too.

He gets to board first, and he wonders if anyone else on the flight is headed to the conference. He’s familiar with some Seattle Pres ortho guys by name but wouldn’t know any of them by sight. Levi finds he doesn’t really care enough to try and find out, and he’s asleep before they even take off.

He’s jolted away when they land, and he’s a little shocked to have slept through the entire flight. He remembers he only had about four hours of sleep the night before and figures it was probably for the best. He’s heard these medical conferences can get pretty wild, and he might need the rest.

He wanders from the plane to baggage claim and has to wait a minute for his bag to show up. He’s pretty much awake by the time he’s getting a cab to the hotel.

= = =

It’s a nice hotel. That much is obvious even from the outside. Levi wonders idly how long it will be before he’s respected enough to be handed all-expense-paid trips to Hawaii.

He walks past several older men in fancy suits until he reaches the front desk.

“Hello,” an older woman with a kind smile says in greeting. “Welcome to Honolulu. Are you participating in the conference this weekend?”

“I am,” Levi says.

“Excellent,” she says. “If I could just get your name, I’ll get your room key. You can leave your bags here to have a courier bring them up in a few minutes.”

“It’s Levi Schmitt,” Levi says. “And I don’t need a courier. I can bring everything up myself.”

The woman scrolls and scrolls and finally looks up at Levi with a furrowed brow.

“I’m sorry,” she says. “I don’t see a reservation for a Levi Schmitt. Could it be under another name?”

Levi realizes his mistake.

“Oh, sorry,” he says. “It’s probably under Atticus Lincoln. He’s my boss, but he realized he couldn’t come at the last minute. He sent me instead.”

“Right,” the woman says. She seems a little less friendly now. “I’m afraid I can’t hand over Mr. Lincoln’s room key without a phone call or email confirming the switch. Could you get in touch with him?”

Levi checks his watch. It’s a little after 7:00 in Seattle, but Link was on call today. There’s a chance he’s in surgery.

“Yeah,” Levi sighs. “I’ll give him a call.”

“You can wait out here in the lobby until you get a hold of him,” the woman offers.

“I can vouch for him.”

Levi freezes because he recognizes the voice coming from behind him.

“Sorry?” the front desk worker asks.

“I can verify his story,” the man explains. “He’s an orthopedic surgeon at Grey-Sloan Memorial Hospital under Dr. Lincoln. He’s telling the truth, so surely you can give him the room key. He’s been traveling all day. I’m sure Dr. Schmitt would appreciate some time to decompress in his room before dinner.”

Levi can’t help but turn around even though he knows it will only confirm what he knows to be true.

It’s Nico Kim, and he’s standing next to a suitcase of his own. He’s wearing navy slacks and a white button-up shirt. He’s seven years older than the last time they saw each other, but he’s not seven years less attractive. He’s still fit, if only slightly less built than before, and he still has a full head of hair.

He’s giving the woman at the desk a charming smile, so that hasn’t changed either.

It’s still effective too because the woman hands Levi a room key and tells him to have a nice stay.

Levi isn’t sure what to do. His heart is pounding in his ears. He didn’t think he would feel this way if he and Nico ever crossed paths again. He thought he would feel indifferent. He doesn’t. He feels hot all over, and he hopes it isn’t obvious.

“Thank you,” he finally manages. Nico turns the charming smile on him, and Levi knows he needs to get out.

“You’re welcome.”

Levi grabs his bag and heads toward the elevator before anyone says anything else.

= = =

He makes it to his room before he has a full-blown moment of panic. He slams the door behind him and bends over to put his hands on his knees. He works through a few deep breaths, and he calms down quicker than he thought he would.

He busies himself with putting away his things. Jack used to make fun of him for being one of those people who unpacks in a hotel. Levi thinks it enhances the vacation experience to live out of furniture rather than a bag.

He pulls out his suits and goes to hang them in the closet, and for the first time in years, he’s reminded of wearing the grey one to Meredith Grey’s trial for her license. He thinks fleetingly of the way Nico had tied his lucky tie around his neck.

He blinks and the memory is gone, but he’s shocked it came to mind in the first place. He usually associates this suit with his first date with Jack. He’d felt kind of ridiculous wearing a fancy suit to a fancy restaurant for a fancy date with a guy he was certain would be a rebound.

Jack had surprised him, though. Levi had been sure he wouldn’t move on from his relationship with Nico for at least a year. It seemed like an appropriate period of mourning for his first love. Jack proved him wrong, like he did so many times over their nearly six years together. He came into Levi’s life at exactly the right time and left at exactly the wrong one.

Levi’s about to change into his pajamas, order room service, and call it a day when there’s a knock on his hotel room door.

He goes to answer it, and he already knows what to expect on the other side.

Sure enough, it’s Nico. He has his hands in his pockets, like he didn’t know what to do with them once he knocked on the door.

“Hi,” Levi says. He thinks he even manages a smile.

“Hi,” Nico says. “Don’t feel obligated or anything, but I thought you might want some company for dinner? They set up a buffet downstairs for everyone arriving late, so I thought we could go get something. Maybe catch up?”

Levi has spent so much of the past year and a half saying no. It’s almost a relief to say yes.

= = =

They work their way through the buffet line in silence. Levi thought it would be awkward, but it’s not – or at least not yet. He watches as Nico arranges a simple plate of food. It’s apparent he’s still a lean meat and veggies type of guy. Levi tries not to be embarrassed by his own plate, which is supporting a generous portion of pasta and two brownies. He was craving some comfort food, okay?

He sees Nico take in his choices and watches him smile. Levi’s suspects he’s not the only one comforted by the fact some things never change. Nico leads the way to a table in the far corner of the room. Levi wonders how they’ll be perceived. Will people think they’re colleagues? Friends? He doubts anyone would guess the truth.

“So, this is weird, right?” Nico says as they take a seat.

“I’m glad you said it,” Levi says. “I was definitely thinking it.”

“It’s not that I never thought I would see you again, but I just –”

“Didn’t expect to see me here?” Levi guesses.

“It’s not even that,” Nico says. “I think I thought the next time we ran into each other you would be married to someone way better than me with, like, three children, and I would be some hapless bachelor faced with the reality of everything he could’ve had.”

Levi is shocked by the confession and how sincere it sounds. He thinks about how close to the truth it would be if Levi’s life had gone according to plan. He must take too long to respond because Nico starts to look a little embarrassed.

“Sorry,” Nico says. “Too honest?”

“I like the honesty,” Levi says. “It’s just that I was.”

“Was what?”

“Married.”

It looks like Nico is waiting for him to elaborate, so Levi continues.

“He died. Cancer.”

“Levi,” Nico says softly, “I had no idea. I wouldn’t have – I’m so sorry.”

“Thank you,” Levi says. In the early days after Jack passed away, Levi spent a lot of time asking people not to apologize. He’s found it’s more gracious and effective to say thanks and hope everyone moves on.

“I am such an asshole,” Nico groans.

“You didn’t know, and I didn’t expect you to know,” Levi says simply.

“How’s work?” Nico asks in an obvious attempt to divert the conversation.

Levi’s surprised by his own laughter.

“I can talk about it, you know. I don’t blame you if you’re curious.”

“We can talk about literally anything else if you want. Your pick.”

“We can talk about Jack,” Levi insists, and he’s surprised to find it feels true. “We met a few months after you left Grey-Sloan. We matched on a dating app. I was looking for a rebound, and he was looking for a boyfriend.”

Levi pauses for a second. This is the part of the how-we-met where Jack would typically chime in. It’s weird telling the story without him.

“He, um, was a chef at an Italian place downtown. He didn’t go to culinary school or anything, just worked his way up from being a busboy. He didn’t go to college, so he was a bit, like, intimidated by the surgeon thing. I think it was the first time I’d ever made anyone nervous.”

Levi feels the weight of Nico’s full attention, but he can’t bring himself to meet his eyes. Instead Levi focuses on cutting a meatball into tiny pieces.

“He was funny, though, like really funny. Dedicated to his work – unbelievably nice,” Levi feels his throat constrict a little. He hasn’t talked about Jack like this in a long time. “We were well-matched. Some people didn’t get it – he was always joking that I married down – but we were well-matched.”

Levi finally brings himself to meet Nico’s gaze. He’s looking at him like he did the day Uncle Sal passed away. It’s all empathy and understanding and kindness.

“He must’ve been really special,” Nico says gently.

“He was.”

It’s weird how putting it all out there breaks the ice. Levi is used to the whole widower thing putting a damper on any conversation. It seems to have the opposite effect on Nico. Instead, he opens up about his past seven years. There are some hilarious stories about failed relationships that have Levi nearly falling out of his chair.

There’s also a pretty serious moment where he tells Levi about finally coming out to his family.

“What are you even doing here?” Levi finally asks when there’s a little lull in the conversation. “I thought you were out of the surgery game.”

Nico takes a sip of his wine, “I’m dipping my toes back in the water.”

“Really? The Mariners not doing it for you anymore?”

Nico looks surprised, “I haven’t been with the Mariners in years. I moved out to New York four years ago – been working with the Yankees.”

“Shut up!” Levi exclaims. “I’d just assumed you were still in Seattle.”

“Nope,” Nico says. “You’re right, though. Sports medicine just isn’t scratching the itch anymore. I like the schedule and the baseball, but I’m a surgeon. I miss cutting. A few surgeries a year just can’t sustain me anymore.”

“So, you’re looking for a new job?”

“Yeah. I’m on a bit of a sabbatical, or at least that’s what I’m calling it, so my parents don’t think I’m unemployed. I thought I’d get some continuing education hours while I figure out my next move.”

“Single _and_ unemployed?” Levi jokes. “I think I won the break-up.”

“I think you did,” Nico agrees.

= = =

They meet again at breakfast the next morning, and Nico guides Levi over to a table of people he must somewhat know. There’s a blonde woman who would remind him of Taryn if it weren’t for her bright smile, and a man with strong brows and dark hair.

“This is Levi Schmitt. He’s an ortho attending at Grey-Sloan in Seattle,” Nico introduces him as they sit down. “We worked together while I did my fellowship.”

“We dated while he did his fellowship,” Levi corrects mindlessly, and then realizes he may have majorly overstepped and outed Nico to a bunch of strangers.

Nico only smiles, though, and he gestures to the others at the table.

“This is Hannah Milner and Matt Jimenez. Hannah and I went to medical school together, and Matt is her fiancé. They both work at Mt. Sinai, so we reconnected when I moved to New York.”

“Reconnected… let you sleep on our couch for two weeks… potato potahto,” Hannah says.

It’s funny seeing Nico interact with his friends – people who knew him before he was a hunky, intimidating surgeon. He enjoys breakfast, and he can tell Nico has a good time too.

= = =

He loses track of Nico during the day. Levi has to follow Link’s schedule, and it’s pretty much opposite to what Nico has signed up for. For the first time, Levi realizes it could’ve been Link having this big reunion with Nico in Hawaii. It’s an unsettling thought.

They finally cross paths again around 4:00. There are no sessions between 4:00 and 7:00 to give everyone time to mingle and enjoy Hawaii. Nico has obviously taken the directive seriously because he’s wearing a swimsuit and carrying a towel.

“Oh, hey!” Nico says, and he seems excited to see him. “Are you planning on hitting the beach? I could use some company.”

Levi was planning on taking a nap. Today has involved more social interaction than he’s had in a year, and he’s a little worn out. Nico looks weirdly hopeful, though, and he can always doze on the beach. He shouldn’t waste a day in Hawaii.

“Yeah, I just need to change,” he finds himself saying. “I need to call Link, too, to check on Paddy. He’s always kind of restless this time of day.”

Nico’s smile drops, and Levi is confused until he replays what he just said.

“Paddy is my dog.”

“Oh,” Nico says. “For a second there –”

“There’s no secret son,” Levi reassures. “Just a 150-pound pain in my ass. Jack spent two years convincing me we could handle it together, and then died like one year into having him. Figures.”

Nico laughs, but it’s a little unsteady – like he’s not sure if it’s appropriate to laugh at jokes about Levi’s dead husband.

“I can meet you down in the lobby,” Levi offers.

“Yeah,” Nico says. “See you in a few.”

= = =

Levi takes a minute in his room to sort out just what the fuck he’s doing here. Two days ago, he was sure he’d be alone for the rest of his life, and now he’s thirsting over his shirtless ex-boyfriend in Hawaii.

He and Jack had talked about Nico on the first date. Levi thought it was only fair to be honest about the odds of this being a rebound. Jack had been a good sport about it. He’d adamantly taken Levi’s side on the breakup, and even called Nico “just okay” after seeing his Instagram picture. He kind of relished in being the rebound – he made several jokes about offering his body for revenge sex.

It had been charming and hilarious and exactly what Levi needed. Jack’s reaction to the situation was part of what convinced Levi he could be more than just a rebound.

And here he was imagining what it would be like to get back with the guy who inadvertently brought them together.

It’s not right. It shouldn’t be right.

Jack did that thing that dying husbands do when they’re nearing the end. He sat Levi down, and made him promise to move on. He joked that Levi had to find another guy or Paddy would never stand a chance. Levi listened and cried and did what people with dying husbands do. He agreed because it made Jack feel better, and he wouldn’t be around to know it was a lie.

He knows Nico is probably wondering where he is, and Levi is glad he can blame it on being on the phone rather than a tiny existential crisis. He flips open his suitcase and grabs a swimsuit. He changes quickly and makes his way to the lobby.

= = =

Nico doesn’t seem to notice anything is amiss when he finds him in the lobby. They make a start toward the beach.

“So, you have a dog,” Nico says.

“I have a dog.”

“What kind is it?”

“He’s a Newfoundland.”

Nico whistles low and long, “You have a dog that’s twice your size.”

Levi laughs, “He’s more like exactly my size, really.”

“How does that work?” Nico asks, not unkindly. “You with a dog?”

“It works like the normal dog-owner relationship works. I walk him, feed him, let him shit in my house, and give him a nearly endless number of treats.”

“And in return?”

Levi could make a joke. There’s one on the tip of his tongue, but it would be a bit unfair.

“In return, he makes me feel a little less like I’ll be alone for the rest of my life.”

Nico is quiet.

“Sorry,” Levi says. “Too honest?”

“I want you to be honest with me,” Nico says. “It’s just –”

“Dark?” Levi finishes. “Trust me, I know.”

= = =

It continues like that for the next two days. Levi goes to lectures and spends the whole time wondering what’s happening between Nico and him. He’s a little nervous to try and relay any of the new information to Link.

He eats every meal with Nico, and they spend their mandatory fun time together as well. No one has made a move. Neither of them has even hinted at making a move. Still, there’s a familiar energy running under every conversation. That’s the other thing – they’re having conversations. Levi is convinced he’ll leave Hawaii knowing more about Nico than he learned in the year and a half they spent as a couple. Time has been good to Nico. He’s still ridiculously good-looking, and he’s a lot nicer. Maybe nicer isn’t the best way to put it because he was always nice to Levi, but he’s at least a lot more open.

He’s who Levi wanted him to be seven years ago. Isn’t that entirely unfair?

= = =

Their last morning in Hawaii comes quickly, and it’s not entirely welcome. He and Nico are sitting with full plates from the breakfast bar, but neither of them is eating.

“What time’s your flight?” Nico asks.

“Eleven,” Levi answers. He taps his phone and sees it’s already 8:30. “I should probably head to the airport soon.”

“Yeah,” Nico says flatly.

“What time is your flight? We could share a cab.”

“I’m not until four,” Nico says. “I could come with you anyways.”

“You don’t really strike me as the type who can entertain himself for hours in an airport,” Levi says. “You should stay here. Soak up some sun before you head back to New York.”

“Maybe,” Nico says noncommittally.

“It’s been good to see you,” Levi says because what else is there to say? “I think it’s been good for me.”

“It’s been good for me too,” Nico says. He finally meets Levi’s eyes, and there’s that smile that makes him feel tingly from head to toe.

Levi wants to say something funny or clever. He wants to say something like “If you’re ever in Seattle…” or “Maybe we’ll run into each other again in seven years…” or “We’ll always have Hawaii…”

Only the thought of going another seven years without seeing or hearing from Nico again makes his palms sweat. He feels that pull he always feels right before he lays his heart on the table. It’s something he did a little too much with Nico in the past, but it feels so right in this moment.

“I don’t want to go seven years without you again,” is what he ends up saying.

Nico’s eyes widen only slightly, and it’s the only confirmation that Levi said something out loud and not just in his head. He knows better than to rely on Nico to fill the silence, so he keeps going. In for a penny…

“I know I’m not the Levi you used to know. I’m kind of dark, and I have bad days. I have baggage, and we’ve done this before and why would it work now?”

“Levi –”

“I know it’s only been four days, but I haven’t felt this, like, _alive_ in almost two years. That means something to me, _you_ mean something to me.”

He’s done, but Nico is still silent. There’s a chance he’s miscalculated.

“But you don’t feel the same way,” Levi says, and he tries to say it with humor. “You don’t feel the same way, and that’s fine. We, um, we’ll always have Hawaii?”

Levi starts to gather up his plate. He really should be headed to the airport.

“I do,” Nico says, and it stops Levi’s scrambling. “I feel the same way. You mean something to me, too. I just – It’s hard. You are different, but I’m different too. I think we’re different enough that this could work this time. It’s just hard to think about being the guy after the husband. You and Jack, um, it sounds like you had something really special. It sounds like he was really special, and I don’t want to make things worse for you by not being able to measure up.

“I love you, Levi. If I let you let me back in, and I ruin it again – if I hurt you after everything you’ve been through, I won’t be able to live with myself.”

Levi’s not used to being on the receiving end of romantic speeches. Jack was more of a shower than a teller. He knows Nico brought up some valid concerns, but all he can hear is _I love you, Levi._

He didn’t think he’d hear that from anyone but his mother ever again.

“I can’t go on like I have been,” Levi says. “It’s like I’ve been someone else ever since Jack died. I’ve been some guy who bottles everything up and keeps to himself and that’s not me.”

Nico still looks unconvinced.

“There’s, like, a Dead Husbands Club at Grey-Sloan, ya know? Meredith Grey, Teddy Altman, me… I was a begrudging member at first, but it’s comforting sometimes. Anyways, Meredith has this thing about how there’s eventually a moment where you choose to live, even though it’s going to hurt sometimes. You choose to live because it’s what they would’ve wanted for you, and living is better than dying or whatever.

“This trip has been that moment for me. So, I’m going to have to start putting myself out there to get hurt again. If it’s not with you, then it will be with someone else. I don’t want someone else, though. I want you.”

“I want you, too,” Nico says. One side of his mouth is lifted.

“You know there are a lot of great orthopedic surgery jobs in Seattle.”

Nico’s smiling now.

“Yeah, yeah, I think I’ve heard that before.”

Levi had forgotten what it was like to feel hopeful. It’s exhilarating.

= = =

By the time Levi leaves for the airport, they have a tentative plan in place. Levi will go back to Seattle. Nico will go back to New York. Nico will reach out to Link about a position at Grey-Sloan. Levi will appeal to Bailey’s soft spot for him and convince her another orthopedic attending will not be a waste of money.

Nico will move to Seattle. He’ll meet Paddy, and he’ll probably become his favorite. Nico is definitely more suited to dog ownership.

That’s the plan, and it feels like a good one.

= = =

Levi is leaning against the fifth-floor nurses’ desk scrolling through some charts and catching up on the patients he missed while he was gone. His mind wanders back to Nico, as it is prone to doing lately. 

He feels unbelievably lucky these days. What were the odds of them running into – and _holy shit._

Levi tosses the tablet back onto the desk and heads directly for Link’s office.

Link’s sitting at his desk evaluating some scans, but he looks up when Levi enters the room.

“So, what was your patient’s name?” Levi asks.

“I have a lot of patients,” Link says innocently.

“The dying one. The one that kept you from going to Hawaii. What was his name? I thought I could look over his chart and learn something.”

“Oh,” Link says. “No, yeah, right. His name… um…”

“Oh my God. _I knew it_.”

“Levi –”

“You had no right.”

“Levi, I just wanted –”

“How did you even know he would be there?”

“I asked a friend from the company to give me the guest list when I was trying to decide whether or not I should go. I saw he was on there, and I thought maybe –”

“You had no right,” Levi repeats. Link is starting to look a little nervous.

Levi isn’t wrong. Link had no right to meddle in his love life. It’s hard to watch Link be sad though, so Levi decides to put him out of his misery.

“You had no right but thank you.”

“You’re not mad?”

“I would’ve been if it hadn’t have gone exactly how you apparently wanted it to.”

“You mean you and Nico?”

“Me and Nico,” Levi nods.

“That’s great, Levi. That’s amazing.”

“You owe me now,” Levi says.

“Please don’t say I have to keep Paddy for another five days. He sheds everywhere.”

“I’ll get Paddy tonight,” Levi says. “I need a different favor. Nico is going to email you later today asking for a job here. Give him one.”

“Done.”

= = =

He waits until he’s sure he and Nico are forever to take him to Luna.

It’s a few weeks after their first anniversary when he decides it’s time.

Nico grabs his attention as they pass each other in the hallway at work.

“Levi,” he says, and he gently grabs his shoulder.

“Hey, you,” Levi says with a smile.

“Our spinal stabilization cancelled, so surgical date night is cancelled too.”

“No big deal,” Levi shrugs. “We can just have regular date night, right?”

“Definitely,” Nico agrees. “I’ll get a resident on my post-ops, and we can meet downstairs in half an hour?”

“Perfect.”

Nico starts walking away, but he goes backwards so he can keep his eyes on Levi.

“Anywhere in particular you want to go? I’m starving, so I’m game for anything.”

“I have somewhere in mind,” Levi says, and he leaves it at that. “Now go find a resident! The sooner you’re done, the sooner we can eat.”

“And the sooner we eat, the less likely it is Paddy has peed on the floor by the time we get home,” Nico finishes.

“You get it.”

It only takes twenty minutes for them to meet up in the lobby. They join hands once they’re outside, and Nico chats about his day on their walk.

“So where exactly are we going?” Nico asks when they’ve made it downtown.

“I thought we could go to Luna,” Levi says easily.

Nico doesn’t take it easily, though. He squeezes Levi’s hand.

“Are you sure? You know I don’t care that we’ve never –”

“I’m sure,” Levi interrupts, and he uses their joined hands to pull Nico along.

When they walk in, Levi is hit will a wave of familiarity. He has a lot of memories here. It’s hard to think of it as anything but Jack’s restaurant, even though there’s a new chef now.

A lot of the staff is the same, though, because Nancy is still the hostess. She’s gaping at him.

“Levi?”

He doesn’t get to say anything before he’s wrapped up in a firm hug.

“Oh my God,” she says. “We didn’t think we’d ever see you again.”

“I’m here,” Levi says. “And I’m sorry that I kind of disappeared.”

“Shush,” Nancy says. “You’re always welcome here. Do you have a reservation? It doesn’t matter. I’ll get you a table right now. Anything for you and your…”

“Boyfriend,” Levi supplies and he holds up their linked hands. “This is Nico, and he’s my boyfriend.”

“That’s _wonderful_ ,” Nancy says sincerely. “Let me get you a table, and I’ll send Ricky over with some complimentary wine.”

“You don’t have to –”

“Well I want to, so I won’t hear any arguments.”

They have a really great meal. The chef has changed, but it’s still Jack’s menu. It’s nice to share a part of Jack with Nico, and Levi can tell the gesture isn’t lost on him.

Nico is still holding his hand, even though it makes it considerably more difficult to maneuver pasta onto his fork.

“Do you want to get dessert?” Nico asks when they’ve finished up their meals. Nico _never_ eats dessert. He’s got freakish discipline when it comes to what he eats. Either he’s that impressed by the food, or he knows he and Levi are in the middle of a perfect moment – and he doesn’t want it to end any more than Levi does.

“Oh, we’re definitely getting dessert.”


	4. Reset

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AU where they realize Grey-Sloan breeds misery. 
> 
> Levi's ready to leave it all behind... well... most of it.

The day with the baseball bat is the last straw. Levi has had many nights where he stumbles tiredly through his front door, fumbles to his bed with his eyes half-shut, and is lulled to sleep with thoughts of how unhappy his internship – now residency – has made him. He’s always been a bit of a geek, and he wasn’t popular in high school or college. Those things didn’t stop him from being a relatively happy person, though. Lately, he’s missing that part of himself – the optimism. It reappeared briefly last year when he was in love with a guy who helped him fall in love with his job. Now, the guy is gone and so is the workplace satisfaction.

He can’t help but feel Grey-Sloan has made him this way. Well, maybe the hospital itself hasn’t, but the people who work there have. It’s a tiring thing to work around miserable people all day. And, yes, Levi signed up to be a surgeon. He knows it’s probably the most stressful job in the world, and it comes with the longest hours in the world. However, does it really have to be compiled with the most obnoxious coworkers in the world? People who are constantly making mistakes and yielding no consequences while simultaneously berating him for seemingly everything he suggests?

He can’t even remember the last time he was in an OR and got to do something other than hold a clamp or provide suction. He’s not an intern anymore. He’s a surgical resident. Back at Dr. Grey’s trial, she mentioned doing burr holes as an intern. Levi hasn’t even done them as a resident, and there’s no way they knew Meredith Grey was going to be _Meredith Grey_ in her first year.

The truth is, he picked Grey-Sloan because it’s the top surgical residency program in the country. He was _recruited_ by the top surgical residency program in the country because he was the top of his class at Stanford. They don’t rank hospitals based on how the surgical residents feel about the program or how much they learn or how great they are when they enter their fellowships. The rankings are based on who you’ll be learning under and what schools they attended and how many times they’ve published and whether or not they’ve won Harper-Avery awards. Grey-Sloan checks all of those boxes, but it’s meaningless when their prestigious attendings can barely bring themselves to make eye contact with you.

The bottom line is, Levi is smart. He’s freakishly smart by most standards. He studies, he reads journal articles for fun, and he wants to like surgery. It’s just nearly impossible when he’s treated like an idiot every day. He can’t remember the last time one of his superiors gave him a compliment or let him even try to earn one. This past shift with Dr. Hunt might go down as the worst workday of his life – and he once threw up in a patient. The tiny voice in the back of his head that sometimes mentions how easily Dahlia found a new residency isn’t so tiny anymore. It’s loud, and it’s convincing.

So, he schedules a meeting with Dr. Bailey.

= = =

He runs into Dr. Bailey on his way to her office, which is unfortunate because she loudly tells him to go wait for her in her office in front of all of the other residents.

“What’d you do this time, Schmitt?” Harris asks. “Get someone fired again already?”

Levi just shrugs. He’s so tired of explaining himself to people who don’t give a shit about him. The other residents jump in, adding on their two cents about what he could’ve done. Taryn is just looking at him, though, and Levi gets this weird feeling she knows exactly what he’s planning to do.

“Leave him alone,” she says with a voice just bored enough to be effective. “Like none of you have every had a meeting with Bailey?”

There’s finally silence, and Levi walks away.

He beats Bailey up to her office, just as she had predicted, and takes a seat across from her desk. He feels his heartbeat pick up a bit, and the entire arrangement feels a little like being called to the principal’s office. It’s his day off, so he’s in navy pants and a neutral sweater. When he got dressed, he picked his favorite outfit hoping it would instill some confidence. It doesn’t seem to be working.

“What can I do for you, Schmitt?” Bailey asks as she enters the door behind him. He startles a little, and his eyes land on a picture of Bailey, her husband, and her son. It’s comforting in a way, to be reminded Bailey is a mother.

“I just wanted to discuss some, um, details about my residency.”

“We don’t give raises to first year residents, Schmitt,” Bailey sighs as she takes her seat behind the desk. She says it like it’s a question she’s answered many times. It would be so easy to end this here. He could back out right now if he just lets her think that was his question. He can’t though. He’s come this far.

“I’m not here to talk about a raise,” Levi says.

Bailey only stares at him, daring him to continue.

“I’m unhappy here,” Levi blurts out before he can stop himself.

To her credit, Bailey seems genuinely shocked at his admission. After the shock, though, there’s a distinct look of displeasure.

“You’re unhappy here? At Grey-Sloan? The best hospital in the country?”

Levi swallows. It’s the point of no return.

“Yes,” he breathes.

Bailey blinks at him several times in quick succession.

“And why are you unhappy here?”

Levi looks over to Bailey’s family photo and steadies himself.

“I know I’m just a resident,” Levi starts. “I know that comes with its own struggles, and I know it’s not easy to ensure great experiences for everyone who works here. I get that.”

“Go on,” Bailey says.

“It’s just – I think – I think I’ve regressed. I know it doesn’t reflect well on me to admit that, but it’s true. Every time I get to scrub in on a surgery, I just stand there. This is a teaching hospital, but it’s like I have to beg to be taught every day. If I make a mistake, I never hear the end of it. I get nicknames about my mistakes, and they’re spread around the hospital like it’s eighth grade and I accidentally called my teacher ‘Mom.’ If I do something right, I get a ‘Good job, Schmitt,’ and it’s never mentioned again.

“I’m not asking to be endlessly praised, but I am asking not to be endlessly ridiculed.”

“If that’s how you feel,” Bailey begins as though saying it is akin to pulling out a tooth, “then I can speak with your superiors about the teasing.”

Teasing. Here he is bringing his valid workplace concerns to his boss, and she uses the word teasing. Maybe the thing with Dr. Hunt wasn’t the last straw. Maybe this is.

“That won’t be necessary,” Levi says. His voice is steady. He’s weirdly calm.

“Well, in that case –”

“I quit,” Levi interjects.

“I’m sorry,” Bailey says. “You what?”

“I quit,” Levi repeats.

“You can’t quit,” Bailey says. “Or you can, but you should know how difficult it will be to secure a spot in another residency program.”

“It wasn’t hard for Dahlia,” Levi says. “And she got fired. I’m leaving of my own accord.”

“That doesn’t mean –”

“I’ve already spoken with Mass Gen, Columbia, and UCLA. They’re all willing to have me. They all wanted me after medical school, but I _chose_ Grey-Sloan. It was a mistake. It’s a bad fit, and I’m tired of trying to make it work.”

“Surely there’s –”

“There really isn’t.”

It’s a stare off now, and Levi refuses to be the first to blink.

“Fine,” Bailey finally relents. “It’s your decision, and I can’t stop you from making it – even if I think it’s the wrong one.”

“I don’t think it is,” Levi says, and he stands and heads toward the door. He can’t stop himself from saying one more thing before he leaves. “You know, I didn’t even have to explain why Grey-Sloan wasn’t working for me.”

Bailey just stares at him.

“Apparently it’s an open secret,” Levi continues.

“What’s an open secret? Bailey asks.

“How poorly your interns and residents are treated. Everyone knows about it. So, you can blame me and think I’m weak or whatever, but I’m not the problem here.”

= = =

Word of his resignation must spread quickly because Levi’s phone has been pinging constantly since he made it back to Jo’s. He’s half-nervous she’ll show up and try and convince him to stay, so he packs his things quickly.

He’s currently crouched next to the couch looking for his copy of _Textbook of Surgery_. It’s his favorite textbook, and a must-have for studying for the boards. He really doesn’t want to leave Seattle without it.

It’s his position next to the couch that reminds him where the book actually is. It is under the couch, just not this one. It’s under the couch at Nico’s place.

Levi sighs and heads over to his phone. It’s an expensive book, so buying another would be a waste of money. A new book also wouldn’t have all of his hand-written annotations. He really needs the book back, so he only has one choice. He dials Nico’s number.

“Hello?” Nico answers after only two rings. Levi was expecting to get his voicemail.

“Hi,” Levi says, and then he pauses.

“What’s up?” Nico asks. There’s no hint of discomfort in his voice.

“I left a book at your apartment,” Levi says.

“Are you sure? I haven’t seen anything.”

Levi tries to hide his sigh, “Yes. I’m sure. It’s under the couch.”

“Why would it be –”

Nico’s voice cuts off as he undoubtedly realizes he knows exactly why the book is under the couch. He’d torn it out of Levi’s hands while he studied to turn his attention to another activity.

“Yeah,” Levi says to break the silence. “So, can I come get it? I need it.”

“Tonight?” Nico asks.

“Um, is right now okay? It’s kind of urgent.”

“Now is fine,” Nico says, and Levi is grateful they aren’t doing the hostile exes routine.

“I’ll be there in fifteen.”

“See you then.”

= = =

Seventeen minutes later, Levi is knocking on Nico’s door for the first time since he moved out.

Nico answers, and they spend a split-second staring at each other. It’s the first time they’ve seen each other since the break-up.

“Hi,” Levi says.

“Hi,” Nico says, and he steps aside to let Levi in. It’s weird being here knowing it’ll likely be the last time. It’s the way he thought it would feel when he dropped by to get his stuff, but instead he’d been too riled up about the break-up to think about it.

“So, what’s so urgent that you need the book today?” Nico asks. He’s not accusatory, like Levi thought he might be. It was easy to imagine Nico accusing him of making this all up for an excuse to get them in a room together.

“I’m leaving,” Levi says, and he walks by Nico to look under the couch.

“Leaving Jo’s apartment?” Nico asks, and Levi assumes Link must’ve keyed Nico into his new living arrangements. “That’s good. How did you even stay there? Isn’t it a studio?”

“I slept on the couch,” Levi says, and he finally spots his book near the back corner. He gets up and walks around to the far side of the couch for better access.

“So, you finally found an apartment? Where is it?”

“Boston,” Levi answers. He grabs the book and stands. He’s not sure what he expected Nico to do with that information, but he had guessed he would get some cool response. Maybe a good luck.

That’s not what happens.

“ _You’re_ _moving to Boston?"_

Nico is affected, and he’s showing it. Levi is a little shocked.

“Yes,” he says carefully. His knuckles are turning white from how tightly he’s grasping his book. He’s situated it in front of his body, almost like a shield from whatever this conversation is about to be.

“Why would you do that?”

“It’s really none of your business,” Levi argues. “I didn’t even mean to tell you, so can we just pretend this didn’t happen?”

“We definitely can’t,” Nico says, and Levi realizes he’s angry. “You weren’t even going to drop me a line to say you were moving across the country?”

“Why would I?” Levi asks. “You’re not my boyfriend. You don’t want to be my boyfriend, and I’m okay with that now. Why would I tell my not-boyfriend about my move across the country?”

“I didn’t realize we ended on such bad terms,” Nico replies.

“You broke up with me in the hallway, in the middle of a workday, in front of everyone we know.”

“Okay, but that doesn’t mean we hate each other.”

“Doesn’t it?”

Nico laughs a little desperately. “No, Levi. It does not mean that. I don’t hate you.”

“I don’t hate you either,” Levi says honestly. “But we don’t really have a good history of telling each other things, so why start now?”

Nico doesn’t seem to have an answer for that, and Levi is ready to get out of here. So, he starts heading to the door.

“I was going to call you,” Nico says right as Levi reaches for the knob. “I was going to call you, but I wasn’t sure what to say.”

“You never say anything,” Levi says. “That’s the whole problem. Stop thinking about what you want to say and just start saying things. That’s what I do."

“I didn’t take the Mariner’s job,” Nico says.

“What? But you haven’t been at work in weeks.”

“I quit,” Nico says, and it’s hardly the explanation Levi is looking for. “I like Link. He’s a good boss, but I hate Grey-Sloan. Link and I were friends back in California. He treated me like an equal, but ever since we made the move it’s been different. You are the only person who made working there even remotely tolerable.”

“Oh my God,” Levi says.

“Everyone was so jealous when they heard we were going to Grey-Sloan, but they don’t understand what it’s like there. It drains the life out of you.”

“Oh my God.”

“I used to be a happy person, you know? I was different before I came here.”

Levi remembers how Nico was when he first got to Seattle. Funny, smiley, insistently flirtatious. He and Link played rock music and made jokes during surgery. They don’t do any of that anymore.

“ _Oh my God.”_

“Why do you keep saying that?” Nico asks.

“It’s – I just – I’m moving to Boston because I’m transferring to Mass Gen. I resigned this morning, and I basically told Bailey everything you just said. I’m miserable here. Grey-Sloan has made me miserable. I don’t even recognize myself sometimes.”

“I know what you mean.”

There’s a weighted pause, and Nico is the one to break it.

“I mean I was willing to pretty much give up surgery just to get out of there.”

They both laugh, and Levi notes how good it feels to laugh with Nico. He can’t remember the last time they laughed together.

“So, what are you going to do?” Levi asks.

“I’ve been trying to decide between a few attending offers. Link’s recommendation goes a long way.”

“Any favorites?”

“I was thinking about Columbia,” Nico says.

Levi feels his stomach drop, and he can’t pinpoint exactly why. Except, he does know why. There’s still some part of him that came here hoping –

“But Boston is sounding better and better.”

Levi’s mouth goes dry.

“You have an offer from Mass Gen?”

“I do,” Nico says simply, like he didn’t just tilt Levi’s entire world on its axis.

“You’re thinking of moving to Boston?”

“It depends,” Nico muses. “How would you feel about that?”

For the first time, Levi feels like the one with the upper hand. He has the power to end this now. It’s his choice to walk away alone or let Nico follow him.

“I don’t know,” Levi says honestly. “I’m kind of looking for a new start.”

“So am I,” Nico says. Levi can hear the double meaning there.

“I guess we could start over together,” Levi says, and he sighs through it like he’s saying it against his better judgement.

The effect is ruined when he finally looks at Nico. They’re both smiling.

Neither of them has been acting like himself lately, but maybe Boston can be the change they both need.

= = =

_A little down the road…_

For all the emotion swelling inside of him, Levi’s hands are perfectly steady as he finishes closing his patient. It’s done. He did it.

“Excellent job, Dr. Schmitt,” Dr. Pulaski says from behind him. Honestly, Levi had forgotten he was there.

“Thank you, sir,” Levi says.

“We’ll see about getting you a solo surgery soon,” Dr. Pulaski says as they both head into the scrub room. “I think you’ve earned it.”

“That would be, um, amazing. Really.”

Dr. Pulaski isn’t a man of many words, so they finish scrubbing out in silence.

“Dr. Kim was in the gallery almost the whole time,” Dr. Pulaski says as they step out into the hallway. “I think he ducked out at the end there.”

“I didn’t even notice he was up there,” Levi laughs. “It’s probably for the best.”

“Remind me how long you two have been together.”

“Three years this weekend, sir,” Levi says. He and Nico had decided to ignore the few weeks they spent apart. It makes the story easier for their new coworkers. Besides, who moves across the country with a guy they’ve only been dating for a few hours?

“I guess that explains why the two of you are finally cashing in on your vacation days,” Dr. Pulaski says good-naturedly. “Good for you.”

“Thank you,” Levi says. “We’re going to North Carolina. Hopefully the weather will cooperate, and we’ll get some beach time while we’re there.”

“I envy you,” Dr. Pulaski says as they reach the nurses station. “Why don’t you get out of here and get a head start on your vacation? I’ll assign someone to your post-ops.”

“Oh, no,” Levi protests. “You don’t have to do that. Nico is working tonight anyway, so there’s really no reason –”

“Actually, Dr. Schmitt, Dr. Kim told us to let you know he finished early. He’ll meet you at home,” Rebecca, the scrub nursing occupying the desk chimes in.

Levi looks back over to Dr. Pulaski, and he’s just staring at Levi with an obvious air of _I told you so._

“Just go, Levi,” Dr. Pulaski says. “Consider it a congratulations for your job well done. Now get out of here, and I’ll go talk to the patient’s family.”

“Thank you!” Levi says with a grin. He figures his protestations are useless. Dr. Pulaski is a bit of a hard ass, and he doesn’t take no for an answer. He’s taken to Levi, though, and Levi would be embarrassed by the favoritism if he didn’t work so hard for it.

“Have a good weekend, Dr. Schmitt,” Rebecca calls as Levi takes his leave. There’s something mischievous in her voice, but he doesn’t want to unpack it. He’s overheard a few too many conversations between the nurses regarding his and Nico’s relationship. However, unlike Grey-Sloan, it’s all kind. People here think he and Nico are a cute couple. No one makes hypocritical comments about it being inappropriate or sly remarks about how someone like Levi nabbed someone like Nico. It’s a nice change.

= = =

Levi makes it to their apartment in record time. He lets himself in the door expecting Nico to be in the kitchen, but he’s nowhere to be found. It’s a short walk to the bedroom. Their apartment is nice, if old and small. Levi had rented it when he thought he was moving to Boston alone, and it was the best he could afford. They could’ve moved by now and found a better place with their combined salaries, but they’ve become fond of their little home.

He finds Nico in the bedroom buttoning up one of his nicer shirts. His eyes grow as he watches Levi walk in.

“You’re early,” he says with nearly zero chill.

“Pulaski told me to get a head start on my vacation,” Levi explains. “Said I deserved it after doing that whole procedure by myself today, but you already know about that. I heard you were in the gallery.”

“You were amazing,” Nico says with a smile. “I’m so proud of you.”

“Thanks,” Levi says. “What’s with the shirt? Are we going out for dinner?”

“I thought we’d order in,” Nico says as he abandons his buttoning to wrap his arms around Levi’s waist.

“You’re a little over-dressed for ordering in,” Levi mumbles, but he’s distracted by Nico sliding a hand under his shirt to rest his palm flat on his back.

“Just thought I’d look nice for you,” Nico says. “Have to keep up my appearance if I want to be good enough for Mass Gen’s best resident.”

“Shut up,” Levi says, but he’s smiling. Nico does what he always does when Levi tells him to shut up, and they kiss. Levi lets it go on for a bit longer than his growling stomach would like. Nico’s attempt to pull his shirt off snaps him out of it, and he pushes Nico away with a gentle, but firm, press to his chest.

“Not that I don’t appreciate all of this,” Levi says, and he gestures between the two of them. “But I’m starving. Wanna just order pizza? We can pick a show or a movie or something and just relax before we have to pack up everything tomorrow.”

“Actually, that steakhouse we went to on Valentine’s Day is on Uber Eats now. I thought we might order from there.”

Levi lifts up on his toes a bit so he can link his hands behind Nico’s head and pull him down for another quick kiss.

“You know our anniversary isn’t until Saturday, right?”

“I know,” Nico says. “Today was a big milestone in your surgical career, though. We should celebrate.”

“Yeah. Okay. Twist my arm,” Levi laughs.

“Go take a shower,” Nico says. “I’ll order while you freshen up.”

“Are you trying to tell me I stink?”

“You stood over a perforated bowel for four hours. I shouldn’t have to tell you.”

= = =

It’s not like Mass Gen has fixed all of their problems. Their first few weeks in Boston were marked by a lot of arguments. There were a few nights when Nico slept at the hospital, and Levi was alone in the apartment mentally enumerating a million reasons he and Nico could never work.

So, Mass Gen wasn’t a miraculous cure-all, but it did help. Slowly but surely, Levi felt himself return to who he was before Grey-Sloan, and he watched Nico do the same. They laugh now. They laugh a lot, and they’re more willing to cut each other some slack. They’re less high-strung, which isn’t to say Mass Gen is less demanding than Grey-Sloan or less challenging. The medical side of things is fairly similar. It’s just their new coworkers are more inclined to mind their own business. Levi’s new mentors have high expectations, but only regarding his surgical skills. They aren’t constantly passing judgment on his personality, his looks, or his relationship. It’s a relief. The lack of scrutiny has made them both nicer, more open, and more willing to be themselves.

It’s worked wonders for Levi, but it’s been even better for Nico. Nico, for lack of a better term, is thriving. He might be the most liked attending at the hospital, even with only two years under his belt. Levi knows his looks don’t hurt, but most of the feedback seems to be about his personality. He’s back to blasting Top 40 in his OR, and he’s known for treating interns and residents with respect. He’s even started a Mass Gen softball team that won the Boston intermural championship last year.

He’s a little wrapped up in his retrospective, so he jumps a bit when Nico knocks on the bathroom door.

“Yeah?” Levi calls.

“You’ve been in there for half an hour! You okay?”

“Oh, wow! Sorry! Lost track of time. I’m almost done!”

“Okay,” Nico says. “Looks like the Uber Eats guy is five minutes away.”

“Got it!”

He hears Nico walk away, and he shuts off the water. He towels off and heads into the closet to try and figure out what to wear. Normally, he’d settle for pajama pants and a sweatshirt since they’re staying in, but he thinks it might be better to dress up a little since Nico did. He settles on a navy sweater and a pair of his more relaxed jeans. Hopefully he won’t eat so much as to require undoing the top button, but you can never know.

While he’s dressing, he hears a knock on the front door. The food must be here, so Levi hurries to rub his hair with his towel until it’s not dripping wet anymore. He looks a little like a damp chipmunk, but he’s willing to let it slide. Nico never minds.

He steps back out into the living room and sees five take out bags taking up most of the kitchen island.

“Wow! You really went all out, huh?”

Nico is unpacking the first bag, and he looks up to shrug at Levi.

“It’s maybe a little overboard, but I did salads, entrees, deserts, wine, blah, blah, blah.”

Levi steps forward and starts unpacking the second bag.

“You won’t see me complaining,” Levi says. “Should we eat at the table or the couch?”

“Let’s do the table,” Nico says. “This might be too much food to fit on the coffee table.”

“Sure thing.”

= = =

Levi shoves the last bite of his chocolate cake into his mouth with less finesse than he would admit.

“I love you,” he murmurs.

“I love you, too,” Nico says with a sweet smile.

Levi looks down at his empty plate and then back up at Nico.

“Yeah I was talking to the cake,” Levi admits. “But, I mean, I totally love you.”

Nico only smiles wider, and Levi is glad for it. They’ve had a nice meal, but Nico has been a little high-strung since they sat down. Or maybe high-strung is the wrong word, but he’s fidgety for sure. Like right now, when he stands to start clearing the table and nearly knocks his chair over. He manages to grab it just before it tilts toward the ground, but his cheeks are red when he looks back over at Levi.

“Okay, what is up with you?” Levi asks.

“What do you mean?”

“ _That_ ,” Levi says, and he waves a hand toward the chair to indicate what just happened. “That was a total Levi move. What has you so stressed out?”

“I’m not stressed out,” Nico says defensively. “I thought we were having a nice night.”

“We are,” Levi insists, and he feels a little guilty for ruining it with his questions. “This has been a great night, but I think it’s kind of obvious something’s up with you. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong,” Nico says. “I promise.”

Levi is inclined to believe Nico’s promises. He’s earned it, so he decides to let it go.

“I know we said we would pack tomorrow, but should we go ahead and get a head start tonight?” Levi asks as he starts to help Nico with cleaning up their dinner.

“Yeah, maybe,” Nico says. “Definitely if it will keep you from yelling at me about being late to the airport.”

“I make no promises, but it’s probably in our best interest.”

Nico laughs, “Let’s do it then. You can get started while I take the trash out.”

“You’re the best,” Levi says because Nico knows how much he hates walking the trash to the chute on the far side of their floor.

Nico heads out to take the trash, and Levi heads into the bedroom to sort out what needs to come with them. He knows he should start with the basics because those are somehow the things he always manages to leave behind. So, he heads over to Nico’s side of the dresser to pull out underwear, socks, and pajamas.

Except he doesn’t find underwear, socks, and pajamas.

Well, he does, but he’s a little distracted by something else.

It’s a ring box, and Levi’s immediate reaction to picking it up is to drop it on the floor like it’s burned him.

Before he can make his next move, he hears Nico burst back into the apartment.

“Levi! Don’t pack for me! I’ll just –”

But it’s too late, and Levi watches Nico realize this as he turns the corner into the bedroom.

He looks frantically between Levi and the box on the floor.

“Shit.”

“It’s fine,” Levi finds himself saying. “It’s so fine. I’ll, um, I’ll just put it back, and, like, we can pretend this never happened.”

“Levi—”

“I’m sorry!” Levi exclaims. “I’m sorry. You’re, um, well doing _that_ , and I’ve ruined it.”

“I ruined it,” Nico protests. “I was going to do it tonight, but I kind of chickened out because you obviously noticed how nervous I was. So, I ruined it.”

“It doesn’t have to be ruined,” Levi says desperately. “I don’t care if you’re nervous! You should just do it!”

Nico stares at him with an unreadable expression.

“Or, um, not,” Levi stutters. “I don’t want to, like, pressure you. I just thought –”

He breaks off when Nico makes a sudden move for the box, and Levi’s heart starts beating in double speed.

Nico made an abrupt move for the floor, but he’s taking his time getting back up. Or, really, he’s not getting back up at all. Instead, he’s kneeling, and he’s holding the box. You know, like people do when they’re proposing.

“Levi,” Nico begins, and he pulls the lid up to reveal a simple gold band.

“Oh my God,” Levi whispers. His eyes are wet, but so are Nico’s. This is really happening.

“Marry me?”

“Yes!”

Levi yanks Nico back up to his feet. There’s a lot of kissing – and some other stuff, too – but there definitely isn’t any packing.

= = =

_A little further down the road..._

Meredith has only just made it out of the scrub room when her intern practically jumps her in the hallway. Leighton is a good intern, but she carries some excess energy.

“Dr. Grey!” she says as she shoves Meredith’s phone into her hands. “Dr. Pulaski called while you were in surgery.”

“Okay,” Meredith says. “Did he say what time he’ll be here?”

“Well, um, that’s the thing,” Leighton continues. “He can’t come.”

“He can’t come.”

“No,” Leighton confirms with a wince. “A long-term patient came in with some new symptoms and he needs to stay in Boston.”

“Did he offer to teleconference in for the procedure?”

“Um, not exactly. He did offer to send one of his attendings in his place. He said he’s done the procedure multiple times.”

“I guess that’s fine,” Meredith sighs. “What’s his name?”

Meredith watches as Leighton visibly wracks her brain.

“I can’t remember,” she finally admits.

“Try to find out before tomorrow,” Meredith sighs. She gets paged to the pit before they can discuss it any further.

= = =

“I can’t believe Dr. Pulaski has sabotaged me this way,” Levi groans as he falls back on to their bed.

“He’s hardly sabotaging you, babe,” Nico says, but he rubs Levi’s chest soothingly anyway. “He trusts you enough to guide another surgeon through his award-winning procedure. That’s a huge deal.”

“Yeah, but it’s not just another surgeon. It’s Meredith Freaking Grey. She hates me.”

“She doesn’t hate you,” Nico says flatly. “She literally told you she didn’t hate you.”

“Yeah,” Levi says, “when she thought I was possibly dying. No one is going to tell you they hate you when you might be dying.”

“No one hates you, Levi.”

“You have to say that. You’re contractually obligated as my husband.”

“Okay,” Nico grunts as he heaves Levi over into his lap. Levi is still a little wrapped up in self-pity, but he’s compliant enough to maneuver to a straddle position. It’s a familiar one for the two of them, but it still tints Levi’s cheeks a little. “You’re being dramatic.”

“I –”

“Nope. You told me to tell you when you’re being dramatic. This is one of those times.”

Levi sighs and dips forward to rest his head on Nico’s shoulder.

“Maybe you should stay here,” Levi mumbles, but even as he does he gets a tight grip on Nico’s shirt.

“Why?”

Levi feels Nico’s hand cup the side of his face. His thumb methodically rubs his stubble.

“You hate Seattle,” Levi says. “We hate Seattle.”

“True,” Nico laughs. “But I can’t just not go. I already emailed Link and told him I was coming. And there’s no way you can take Kat by yourself, and you can’t leave her here because your mom will kill you if you come to Seattle without her.”

“Mom saw her four weeks ago. She’ll get over it.”

Nico slides his hand back and tugs lightly in Levi’s hair until he lifts his head enough to meet his gaze.

“I know Grey-Sloan is the last place you want to visit, but I think this could be good for you.”

“Nico –”

“Listen. You are a general surgeon attending at one of the best hospitals in the country, and tomorrow you’ll be guiding _Meredith Grey_ through surgery. You’re not the same guy they knew, and they’re going to realize that the second they see you.”

“Wow. That was really –”

“And you have a really hot husband and the cutest fucking 2-year-old ever.”

“Okay,” Levi laughs. “That was really sweet until you made it all about you.”

“We can talk about how hot my husband is later if it will make you feel better.”

“Shut up,” Levi says out of habit more than anything.

“It’s true though,” Nico says, and he kisses Levi as if to prove it. It gets hot and heavy, as it often does when they’re in bed together. Nico flips them over so Levi’s lying flat on his back, and he reconnects their lips as soon as he settles an arm on each side of his head.

Levi is so close to giving in, but when there’s a break to catch their breath he puts both hands flat on Nico’s chest to hold him away.

“We can’t,” Levi pants.

Nico groans, “You’ve got to get over this.”

“Her room is literally next door. Her ears are tiny, but her acuity is sharp. She heard me open the fridge door yesterday morning and was calling for me immediately.”

“That might’ve just been a coincidence.”

“You know us. We can’t - We’re not good at –”

“Self-control? Being quiet? I think you’re the one that –”

“That’s not really fair –”

“So, what? We only do it in the shower from now until she’s off to college? That’s 16 years.”

“No,” Levi huffs. “She’ll be old enough for sleepovers eventually.”

“Oh my God.”

“If you call me dramatic –”

“Which you are.”

“We agreed you only get to call me dramatic once a day.”

“Do you ever think about why we had to make that a rule?”

“You –”

“Da!”

The call from the other room cuts off their playful spat, and Nico nearly falls off the bed trying to de-tangle himself from Levi.

“Who’s dramatic now?” Levi laughs. “She’s not going to walk in on us. She can’t get out of the crib.”

Nico just narrows his eyes at him. He’s still shaking his head as he leaves their room to comfort their daughter.

Levi is shaking his head too, but more in wonder of how he ever got this lucky.

= = =

Turns out Nico was mostly right. Walking through the halls of Grey-Sloan doesn’t feel quite the same as it used to, and it’s only partially due to the added weight from the toddler Levi is carrying.

He’s getting some second glances, but he’s unsure if it’s because of the suit, the toddler, or old coworkers trying to place him. Either way, it makes him a little uneasy as he directs himself to the general surgery hall. He’s been in contact with a Dr. Tess Leighton, who’s Grey’s intern for the week. She’s supposed to meet him at the 6th floor nurses’ station. He has no idea what she looks like, but he knows for sure she’s not the doctor tapping on a tablet by the station. That doctor is Meredith Grey. Levi suppresses the visceral sensation of anxiety threatening to break free, and he’s relieved when Meredith is joined by a young woman wearing light blue scrubs and a bright smile. It must be Dr. Leighton, and he’s thankful for another person to break the possible tension.

Kat is half-asleep against his shoulder, and Levi counts the little puffs of air she releases onto his neck as he makes his approach. He’s at eleven when he reaches Meredith and Tess.

“Dr. Grey,” Levi says, and it pulls her attention away from her tablet and onto him. Levi musters up the courage to pull off a friendly smile.

Dr. Grey recognizes him immediately, and Levi is a little comforted by that fact. It’s nice to know he wasn’t completely forgettable.

“Schmitt,” she says, and there’s some obvious amusement. “What are you doing here?”

Levi is confused for a second, but Tess interrupts before he can say anything.

“Dr. Levi Schmitt is Dr. Pulaski’s attending,” she says.

“What a small world,” Meredith muses.

“Gets smaller every day,” Levi agrees.

“Dr. Schmitt, I’m Tess Leighton. We spoke over the phone.”

“Right,” Levi says, and he uses the hand not supporting Kat to shake her hand. “It’s nice to meet you. I hope you’ve been studying up. There are a couple of parts in the procedure where we may be able to get you involved.”

Tess’ eyes flit over to Dr. Grey, but she only raises her eyebrows.

“I’ve been studying,” Tess confirms. “Um, would you like me to take your daughter up to the daycare while Dr. Grey takes you to meet the patient? It’s only down the hall.”

“Oh, no need,” Levi says. “My husband should be coming by to get her soon. I didn’t mean to bring her up here with me, but she was asleep and trying to switch arms turns into a total mess, and she barely slept on the plane.”

“Hey!” Nico approaches them at a fast walk from behind. “Sorry, babe. You know Link – super chatty.”

“Dr. Kim,” Meredith says with evident surprise in her voice.

“Hi, Dr. Grey,” Nico says.

“I didn’t realize you and Schmitt were back together. How long have you been in Boston?” she asks.

“Um, Levi and I actually made the move together, so it’s been about ten years.”

“How did I not know about this?” Meredith says. “I wouldn’t expect Helm to keep something like this to herself.”

“She didn’t know,” Levi says. “Um, no one knew really. Link did, but that was about it.”

Nico reaches over to shift Kat into his own arms, and she barely stirs as they maneuver her between them. She rests her head on Nico’s shoulder, and her hand grasps at his shirt. It’s a miracle she hasn’t woken up, but it’s a testament to how tired she is.

“Link and I are going to get lunch,” Nico says. “When’s your surgery?”

Levi looks to Dr. Grey.

“We’re hoping to get started in about two hours,” she says.

“Alright,” Nico says, and he hoists Kat up a little higher on his hip. “Go. Be great. You never know who might be watching from the gallery.”

“I think I know exactly who will be watching,” Levi laughs. “Now go away. Go to lunch. Enjoy your day off.”

“Yes, sir,” Nico says with a sly smile. “It was nice to see you, Dr. Grey.”

“Same to you,” Meredith says with a wave.

Levi watches Nico walk away with their daughter tucked firmly in his arms. He knows he’s _that_ guy. The guy who gets a little too wrapped up in watching his husband walk away and gets caught doing so every time.

“Dr. Schmitt,” Meredith says, and he knows from her tone of voice it’s not the first time she’s said it. He can’t bring himself to be embarrassed though.

“Sorry,” Levi says. “Been married six years, but it still hasn’t worn off.”

“So, Boston has been good to you,” Meredith comments as she leads them down the hall to the patient’s room.

“Very good.”

= = =

Later that night, Nico and Levi are curled up in Levi’s old basement bedroom. Kat is upstairs sleeping in his mom’s room, and this is the first night they’ve had her out of earshot since adopting her six months ago. Levi tried to take advantage of the distance, but this time Nico was the one to shy away. He’s always been iffy about them having sex in Levi’s mom’s house.

“I told you today wouldn’t be as bad as you thought it would,” Nico says softly. His fingers trail up and down Levi’s arm.

“Yeah, yeah,” Levi says amusedly. “You’re always right. I’m always wrong. Blah, blah, blah.”

“Stop it,” Nico says. “I was really proud of you today. I mean I’m proud of you every day, but today was especially impressive.”

“Well, I wouldn’t be me without you,” Levi replies.

“Huh.”

“What?”

“Nothing. We’re just _that_ couple.”

“I had a similar revelation today. I’m less upset about it than I thought I would be.”

“I’m weirdly thrilled by it.”

Levi lets that sit for a minute. He’s so tempted to fall asleep, but there are a few more things he wants to discuss.

“Did you see Meredith when I let Leighton do part of the tumor resection?”

“I did,” Nico says with amusement. “I think she came really close to stepping in.”

“Leighton was thrilled, though,” Levi says.

“Yeah,” Nico agrees. He sounds close to sleep himself. “You’re a good teacher.”

Sleep comes quickly after that.


End file.
